A matter of the heart
by always-there94
Summary: A stranger comes into her emergency room and changed her life the moment they saw each other. Will Lauren be able to come to terms with her past with Bo by her side? And can Lauren save Bo s life so that their love has a chance? AU, Lauren s POV
1. chapter: A not so usual Tuesday

**This is a new story I was thinking about and would like to know if you like the way I think…**

**I know there is another story I am working on but I really wanted to write this one…**

**I´ll try to update the other one next week… But maybe you want to read this one too…**

**All mistakes are mine and I apologize in advance for any mistakes I´ve made, English isn't my first language but I do everything I can…**

**Have a nice day and like always… enjoy the chapter…**

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Beep Beep Beep

Surrounded by darkness I searched for the device to turn off the annoying sound which woke me up from my needed thirty minutes break. Switched off the buzzer of my alarm clock I lifted my still tired body and sat up on one of the not so comfortable beds we had in our small rest room to sleep. The curtains weren´t drawn, so I could see the moon shining brightly in the starry night right through the window and made some contours visible which would otherwise have been swallowed up by the darkness. I checked the time on my pager, telling me that it was 1 o´clock in the morning and that meant I still had six hours to work. It was a usual Tuesday morning, it didn't happen much, because of that I had the time for a break. Rubbing my neck I got up slowly and stretched some of my wearily body parts. I was a little tired, which was not unusual for being awake for thirty-six hours, but I was used to it. Doing this job for about ten years now I have developed a functional schedule for my various weeks. At the beginning it was a little hard to get up at ungodly times and from time to time I accidentally fell asleep, never when something important happened but it happened. With the time I managed it and then it was no longer a problem. Now I just needed a strong coffee and then everything will be fine. After doing my slightly embarrassing calisthenics I unlocked the door and went out into the brightly illuminated hallway just to suddenly stumble into somebody I haven´t seen coming. Fortunately I had a solid standing position which caused the person who ran into me to fall. Reacting quickly I reached out fast enough for one arm so that nobody hit the ground.

"Oh god! Thank you Lauren." The woman breathed, somewhat puffed.

In front of me was standing a thankfully Natalie who adjusted her clothes. She was one of the best nurses I have been working with for five years now. At the age of twenty-five she was already the most skilled nurse I knew, much better than some older women and men I´ve worked with. We were very coordinated together, always knowing what the other was doing or needed when we were treating a patient or had an emergency. After she had steadied herself I let go of her arm.

"Everything is fine. What´s going on?" I asked wanting to know why she was breathless.

"Sorry for bumping into you. I came to tell you that we have an emergency coming in five minutes. Cardiac arrest." She informed me. One of the reasons why I liked her was that she didn't beat around the bush like other nurses would do. She gave me the necessary information and continued with her work.

"Then let´s go!" I just said and followed her to the elevator, straight to the emergency room.

As we reached the emergency room there wasn't that much going on, one person with a broken leg, a small traffic accident and a concussion. Nothing striking happened during my absence, like I had suspected it, a usual morning on a Tuesday. I heard the squeal of braking tires causing me to walk through the room with Natalie by my side and some other nurses came to us to help with the coming patient.

As we reached the outer door the paramedics were already coming with the patient. One of the two men was walking beside the stretcher while the other one was straddling the woman trying to resuscitate her. They were followed by a very thin and raven haired woman with a tear-stained face.

Natalie and I immediately rushed to them, I took a deep breath and shifted into doctor mode so that I could only focus on the patient. I blocked everything out what wasn't important at the moment like a tunnel vision, only the patient mattered.

"Give me the deats!" I ordered right after we reached them to get an idea of the patient and what the two men have already done to help her.

"thirty-three year old woman, heart attack twenty minutes ago, no pulse for three." The man next to the bed said and continued with the remaining information.

A thirty-three year old woman with a heart attack. That didn't happen without a reason, my brain was in overdrive. There were a few possibilities why a woman of her age could have a heart attack. We would definitely have to perform some tests if we could bring her back.

I walked past the first paramedic to forge into the lead. When I saw the woman lying on the bed I paused for a moment. The woman in front of me was absolutely beautiful even in a state like this. Her full dark brown hair was spread out on the stretcher, the very sensual looking lips were slightly opened, showing some of her white teeth. The sight provided pure perfection.

I shook my head before I was about to lose my concentration and focused back to the task and why this woman was here. In the background I could hear the younger woman whimper and crying, begging for her friend´s life.

I took the lead so that the man could climb down from the patient and continued with the resuscitation, distributed orders to the people around me and the woman on the bed. Always, when I am in a situation like this I thought back to my studies. You remember what you´ve learned and practiced on so many patients before and you use your knowledge to save another human life. That´s exactly what I and the others did. I always demand the best from the people I was working with. We lifted her over on a hospital bed and cut open her black shirt to expose a part of her toned body and beautiful breasts which were covered by her bra, the nurse prepared the defibrillator so that I could shock her.

We did this several times, gave her adrenaline, Natalie always held the bag valve mask to pump oxygen into her lungs, I had the paddles in my hands. So far nothing was working, there was still a flat line to see on the monitor she was connected with and the short times we saw a possible heart beat it wasn't for a long time. It seemed to be hopeless. I looked up to see the same hunch in peoples eyes around me I had. But I wouldn't let it happen. This woman was almost my age, her whole life before her. I wouldn't let her die on this bed, not during my shift and not today. She had to live.

"One more time! Three hundred!" I ordered and the nurse on the defibrillator did as I said. The paddles placed meticulously, from my point of view one above her left breast, the other under her armpit.

"Everyone away from the bed!" Looking up I saw that all took their hands off and I shocked her again.

All our gazes were pinned on the monitor, all quiet, waiting for the flat line to end. We all sighed when we saw that the flat line disappeared, now showing a regular heartbeat. I could hear the woman taking a deep breath, her chest rising and falling in a normal rhythm.

Immediately we prepared everything to bring her to the ward on the second floor where she could recover from the strain. I remembered the young woman who has followed us and turned around after all was set for the women´s transport. Now I had the time to take a closer look at the black-haired. She was very very skinny and appeared a little bit as a Goth I thought. Not that I would mind but she was, what can I say, she was special. I could see that her eyes were red from all the crying and she was watching the woman she came with from behind the window where she had to wait all the time while we tried to save her friend.

I could say that the woman was more than relieved, seeing that we weren´t in such a hurry or appeared as if we would walk hectically around the bed anymore. She saw me coming and I met her halfway where she pulled into a very tight hug that took my breath away for a second. For a skinny woman like she was, she was astonishing strong. I mirrored her hug and put my hands on her back, squeezing her softly, at the same time trying to take some of the stress from her.

That was one of the reasons why I was doing what I did. I see the happiness and the gratitude in the people´s eyes when I could tell them good news. But in this case the happiness would only remain for a short time because now we would have to perform several tests to find out why a young, gorgeous and strong appearing woman had a heart attack. You shouldn't take something like that lightly. I pulled slightly away from the woman in my arms to see that her tears had finally dried up. Her radiant blue eyes were searching mine and had a worrying and confused expression, I could understand her very well.

"Doc, what´s wrong with her? One moment she´s fighting with me against the zombie apocalypse and the next moment she can´t breathe anymore and is holding her chest. Please tell me she´ll be okay!" the black-haired asked and sniffed, a desperate undertone to hear in her voice. She has described some of the usual signs for a heart attack.

"Your friend…"

"She´s my sister!" She corrected me.

"Your sister had a pretty hard heart attack." She gasped, "She made it and we will bring her to another ward where she can recover from all the stress she had to go through. After that we´ll have to make some tests. I don't want to scare you but it might be something behind that. We´ll do everything possible to help your sister." I explained with a calm voice. I hoped to be able to spread the calmness I radiated to the women in front of me even if I scared her with a possible serious illness her sister could have. Seeing that she was processing the new information I put a hand on her arm causing her to look up and me in the eyes.

"You can see her if you want. She´ll be asleep for several hours but you can sit by her side." I offered and she immediately nodded. "I´ll bring you to her. This hospital sometimes seems to be a labyrinth." Of course my bad joke wasn't working so we remained quiet and she followed me through the neon light hallways, up the stairs. A few minutes later we arrived at the ward and the head nurse told me in which room the new patient was laying. Almost at the end where it was really quiet we came to the room of the woman. I opened the door and we entered the room. I heard the woman gasp and knew for certain why she did that. The woman on the bed looked a little pale and there were various machines around her which observed her. However even in this state she looked absolutely beautiful. I didn't know why I was reacting to her so much. Sure she was the most stunning person I´ve ever seen but at the same moment she was my patient. A patient I was treating and only knew for an half hour, didn't even know her name. Something like that had never happened before. What made her that different? I decided to leave it at that for the moment, focused on the health of the woman and that her little sister coped with the situation. She sat down on the chair next to the bed and took one of her sister´s hand, held it tight.

"Oh sista… The things you do!" She whispered and kissed the back of the hand she was holding. Then she looked up to me, a lot of worry visible in her eyes.

"What´s with all the machines?" She asked, always having eye contact with me. I took a step towards her.

"They are intended to observe her state to tell us if everything is okay." I didn't say anything more, not wanting to scare her with all the things the devices in the room were used to. It was the best to let the two alone for a while and I had other patients who needed my help.

"I let you alone but will be back when I have time. Then I could help you with the forms you have to fill out and when your sister is awake I tell you what the next steps are that we have to do." After I´ve finished, there was relief to see in the woman's´ eyes.

"Thank you… sorry doc, didn't ask for your name."

"No problem. I´m doctor Lewis. Just call for me if there´s something you need. I promise to come. I´ll be back as soon as I can." She nodded and I gave her a genuine smile. She was calmer now, knowing that her sister was save for the moment and I could see that she loved her very much.

I remained standing on my place for a moment, not able to look away, away from the almost impossible beauty of this woman. But not wanting to disturb them any longer I composed myself and walked out of the room. After I had closed the door I leaned with the back against the next wall, took several deep breaths and ran my fingers through my hair.

What was just happening? That´s not me, at all! I usually wouldn't help somebody with the patient forms. So why am I doing it now? She was different, I didn't know what it was but I would try find it out. I had to.

The vibration of my pager put me out of my thoughts and I took it out of my lab coat to see where I was needed. The code told me that there was a new patient coming with burns. Shifted back into the necessary mode I made my way down to the emergency room again, tried to focus back on my task, rescuing people.

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Five hours and two emergencies later I had finished my paperwork for that shift, wrote everything down what I´ve done, medicaments and stuff like, now ready to go home. During the last couple of hours my thoughts drifted back to the woman. I´ve tried to concentrate just on my work and the other patients but here and there she appeared in my minds, reminded me of her silky skin, the very feminine body and her radiance. Nobody called to say whether she had another heart attack or something else which made me glad.

I promised the little sister to come back and to help her with the forms even when I was now exhausted and very tired, craving to sleep in my big and so comfortable bed. Knowing what we had to fill out it wouldn't need that much time. So after I had put the last file into the drawer I refreshed myself in the restroom and went to the room. Maybe they were already awake.

Standing in front of their room I knocked, no one answered, so I guessed that they would both probably be asleep and opened the door carefully. The door closed as quiet as possibly behind me I turned around to see that there was someone awake anyway. I stopped my movements, not wanting to disturb their intimate moment and absorbed the offered sight, the amazing view of that woman. The sun was shining bright through the window, lightened up the room. The woman in the bed was in an upright position and looked, not caring how cheesy it sounded at this moment, just like an angel. The sunlight let her dark brown hair sparkle and highlighted her soft features in her face. There were no longer the hardened and tensed outlines to see which she had when she was admitted to our hospital in the night. She was wearing a nightdress from the hospital that could hide some but not all of her advantages. Of course she couldn't wear her slashed shirt anymore and it was a normal procedure to change the patients´ clothes.

Somehow she must have noticed me nevertheless and turned towards me. My breath hitched the moment she saw into my eyes. The feelings which were running through my entire body overwhelmed me. The color of her eyes was the same her hair had, dark brown with a slight shimmer. The deep brown eyes radiated such a peace but at the same time agitation and worry like I have it never seen before. This woman was definitely something special. Her gaze let me feel emotions I had almost forgotten, heat, passion, strong affection, pure lust and the long missed and sweet aching between my legs… _´Wow! That, Lauren Lewis was beyond unprofessional! She is your patient for god´s sake. I´m her doctor and she is sick. I am here to help her and not to jump on her.´_ I thought to myself, took a deep breath and steadied myself.

She was beautiful, there´s no denying but I wouldn't have anything with her, first because it was forbidden to have a relationship with a patient, second I didn't know her at all and third I didn't even know whether she like women or not. This is just professional and the attraction might disappear. After another deep breath I approached the bed, quietly not wanting to wake her little sister who needed some sleep too.

"Good morning. My name is doctor Lewis." I introduced my self, talking with a low voice.

"Morning doctor Lewis." I froze again because of her calm and sweet voice with which she could for sure twist everyone around her little finger, myself included. But not wanting to look clumsy or just stare at her I shook my head and tried to shift as good as I could in my doctor mode.

"I promised your little sister to help her with the forms we need. But it was a very eventful night and we should let her rest for a while. She was very worried about you." We both looked down to the sleeping woman who was snoring lightly with her head on the bed, hands beside it, mumbling something about pizza and chocolate chips.

"So doc, can you tell me what´s wrong with me because even if I´m not a doctor I can say that a heart attack at the age of thirty-three isn't a good sign." Her calm voice surprised me and the fact that she knew what happened to her too. Not many women knew the signs of a heart attack and how to act in a situation like that. But she knew exactly what happened to her and it didn't scare her at all or she just wanted to raise the impression that she was tough. A lot of patients tried to play it down and acted like it wouldn't affect them, at the end they showed how they really felt, cried or gave utterance to their feelings, no one was that calm. However somehow I had the feeling that she really wasn't afraid of what might come towards her. This woman became more and more a fascination to me.

"It´s right that you had a heart attack and I don't want to lie to you because it really didn't look so good when you came to us in the emergency room. We fought for your life with all that we had and managed to bring you back. It´s also right that you are far too young for a heart attack. That means we have to perform tests to find a solution for the problem your heart has or your body. Like I said it before I don't want to scare you but we take this pretty seriously and you and your sister should too." She nodded when I was finished with the repetition of the last occurrences and again she was surprisingly calm. I saw that she was processing the information like her sister did hours ago and I waited for eventual questions or anything else. Several moments passed, nobody said anything.

We both turned our attention to the suddenly stirring third person in the room who must have noticed the noises. She opened her eyes slowly and lifted her head, showed us her white teeth by fully yawning and stretched her likely stiff arms and back. After blinking a few times she recognized where she was and her eyes widened in shock, looking hectically around she saw the brunette on the bed, awake and smiling at her. I saw tears in the younger woman´s eyes and she pulled her sister in a crushing hug. I wanted to say something, my mouth already opened but a hand motion and an assuring nod from the hugged woman let me close my mouth and I waited on my spot until the emotional reunion was over. It took a while and several strokes over the hair from the skinny woman to calm her down and the sobs got more quiet until they finally pulled apart.

"AUA…" The woman on the bed screamed when the younger one hit her on the arm.

"Don't scare me like that Bo-Bo! My little heart doesn't bear that …oh.. bad joke. Sorry!" Even if it was a not so funny joke I laughed a little bit anyway. The little family noticed that and turned to me.

"Yo doc. You´re here. Didn't think you would come." She said surprised.

"I keep my promises. So I brought all the papers and can explain everything to you in case you don't understand it." I held up the forms, showing them that it wasn't that much, "It seems to be a lot but with my help it will be done quickly." Their widened eyes moved back to their normal size and they didn't show the fear they had ten seconds ago because of the stack in my hand. I turned my attention to the woman who was sitting on the bed, looking at me with a grin on her lips.

"Do all your patients get these attention or am I an exception?" She asked with a tempting undertone and my knees began to buckle. My face must be as red as a tomato because of her question. Of course I would stay longer in the hospital if I had to but this here was no emergency. I did this on my own free will because I wanted it. And it was also the first time that I broke one of the most important rules we had: Never make promises! I may wasn't about the health of a patient but I´ve never offered that kind of help for any patient. So why now? Why this patient? Was it because of this woman, because I felt so drawn towards her? I didn't know. But one thing I knew, she changed me the moment I saw her and I had to find out why she was able to cause these change. And now I knew one more thing about her. Her name was Bo.

"Alright then let´s get started with the fun part!" She said, skipping her question and gave me a gentle smile. I couldn't help and grinned, not knowing how she did that.

I walked over to the table, took the chair that was there and went back with it to the bed, placed the chair next to the one the younger woman was sitting on. Equipped with a pen I opened the first page and we went through all important things the hospital had to now about her.

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After the next couple of pages I knew almost everything relevant about Bo: Bo Dennis, born the 31th January, thirty-three years old, blood group B- which is a rare one. Her step sister is Mackenzie Malikov but preferred Kenzi, mother Mary Dennis, father unknown, no allergies or any special illnesses before.

We filled out the papers very quickly and after that they told me some stories about their life and through how many adventured they´ve been. They told me that they had an own PI agency and how crazy some of their cases were. For example a clown who lost his nose or a shoplifter, but also serious cases like a missing kid they found after three days of searching for information. They took every situation seriously even when it was just a cat on a tree.

All the time I was mesmerized by Bo and couldn't take my eyes off her. She spoke with so much enthusiasm and fascination, always with this sparkling in her beautiful brown eyes. I´ve never seen a person talking about its job with that amount of fun like she did. She had as much fun as I had with my occupation. We both loved it to help people even when she said that me being as a doctor was much more important than her job because I was saving lives. But I countered with the argument that she and Kenzi were also saving lives on their own way and their job was far more dangerous than mine. I was really concerned about Bo´s life, Kenzi´s of course too, not wanting them to get hurt or worse. They saw my worrying and assured me that they were always careful and that they were supported by the police when it was necessary. It calmed me down, just a little bit, but it did. They joked about that their cases were never that dangerous that they ended in a hospital bed, always just a few scratches or bruises and now, after they have killed some zombies in a videogame Bo was laying here with a probably heart defect. It may should be a joke but I told them that I would do everything to find out what was wrong with Bo´s heart and they believed me.

After that we came back to other themes, some lighter ones. They wanted to know what the craziest things were I had ever seen during my time in the hospital or had to deal with. So I told them about the bomb warning we had in my first year as a medicine student and how I had to calm down the children on the ward where I was at that time or the other time when we had to fix an arm to the man´s body again because his best friend missed the wood he wanted to cut about thirty five cm. They were both amazed how cool some of our emergencies were and I was somewhat proud to be able to tell theses things I´ve experienced in my career.

It was so much fun talking with them that I didn't notice how the passed until Natalie came in the room and looked at me in surprise, maybe relieved too.

"Dr. Lewis there you are! I´m looking for you for half an hour. Didn't you look on your pager?" She said.

I immediately looked down to my pager and saw that she was right, there were several messages I haven't noticed. So engrossed in the conversation with Kenzi and Bo I haven't noticed the vibration of my pager and now I saw that I have spent almost three hours with them. Of course they were looking for me. Tamsin and Sam must be worried about me. I had to go home to them. I looked up, back to Natalie.

"Tamsin called us and said that you are supposed to be at home more than an hour ago because your shift ended two hours ago. She seemed anxious, you haven't called her to say that you would stay a little longer today." Natalie added.

I hadn't had the feeling that the time has passed that quickly. Sam was for sure already waiting for me. I gave her a promise I would definitely keep.

"Thank you Natalie. I haven't seen on the clock. I have to go home now." I looked down to the papers, " Could you bring them to the head nurse. We´ve filled everything out." She nodded and I handed her all after I got up. I turned to Bo and her sister.

"I´m sorry but I have to go home now. I´ll be back tomorrow morning. Until then Natalie will be there for you if you need anything and when I´m back I will inform you about what kind of tests we have to do. And then we find out why you are here. But now you should rest. It was nice talking to you." Bo gave me an understanding smile, at the same time it looked like an apologizing one.

"Sorry for keeping you here so long and thank you for your help." She said.

I would really like to stay a little longer just to talk with her, get to know her. But someone was waiting for me at home and I wouldn't let this person wait any longer. I sighed, had mixed feelings about my decision.

"Then I will see you tomorrow Bo." I looked her directly in the eyes to see the warmth and kindness again which instantaneously spread through my entire body, right to my heart. What was this woman just doing to me?

"See you tomorrow Dr. Lewis. Have a nice day."

Again I couldn't hide the smile that came across my lips. I nodded to her and looked to Kenzi who alternated looking between Bo and me with a mischievous grin in her face.

"Bye Kenzi. Take good care of your sister and watch that she rests!" I ordered half seriously because I knew she would do it anyway. She got up from her chair and saluted, clicked her heels.

"Aye Aye doc. I´ll bind her to the bed If I have to." She said and put her hand from her forehead the military way.

"Alright. Bye." I said laughing and let the two finally, maybe reluctantly, alone, went with Natalie out.

After I was out of the room I said good bye to Natalie and hurried to the room my locker was in and changed my clothes, took off the lab coat and put on my jeans, the hard rock shirt Same gave my to my last birthday and my brown boots. I said good bye to all on my way and walked out of the hospital, wore my sunglasses because of the shining sun.

On my way I thought back over the last couple of hours. I thought it would be a normal shift without any remarkable events. But then, at the beginning of this day which I also thought would be a usual Tuesday Bo came into my life. Not the way I would have liked it. But there she was, beautiful and with a warm and sincere heart and I would do everything to help her.

I got in my car and drove from my personal parking space on the street. The rush-hour traffic has already subsided so that I could come home quickly. During my ride and like it happened so often this day my thought traveled back to Bo. My feelings were on a high-attitude flight when I was near her. It never happened before that I was acting around a patient in that way I did with Bo. I would definitely have to thing about that. But now, when I was almost at home I would leave my work behind me. I was looking forward to see her again and hoped nothing would happen during my absence.

Now I focused on coming home to spend time with the most important person in my life. I will see what the time will bring.

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**Okay , let me know what you think and if I should continue with this one**

**I appreciate all reviews! Just let it out! **


	2. chapter: A day with the family

**Thank you for the follows, favorites and reviews… and I guess that some of you like the story so far, so I will continue because I have a lot of ideas with this one…**

**This chapter will reveal some of Lauren´s background and I´ve read all your reviews and hope you like the way I want to go**

**Warning: in between you will have a little confrontation with the death… just with that you know**

**All mistakes are mine and I don't own the characters…**

**Alright… enjoy the chapter**

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I parked the car in front of our big white house and got out of it. Sam and I had decided in favour of this one because of its modernity and understated elegance we both preferred. It was a two-story house with a flat roof and a huge garden where we have laid a patch out with all possible sorts of herb, chives, onions, carrots, even one row with potatoes, everything right after I had bought it. We loved it to cook fresh and healthy when we had the time, mostly in the evening and on the weekends. Of course junk food wasn't an option for me, not just because I was a doctor and knew what all the fat and sugar did in a body but cooking together was so much fun, you could talk about your day and you could spent with your family. It was one way how I won Sam´s heart. Beside the patch there was also a swimming pool we swam in on every weekend or when it was really hot in the summer.

I went up the small path from the garage to the front door, inserted the key into the lock and opened the door to walk inside. We had three bedrooms , mine included a balcony and a bathroom with a huge bathtub I liked to relax in after a long and stressful day in the hospital. From the balcony I could look down into our garden and had an amazing view over Toronto because our house laid on a little hill. I wanted a house in a calmer part of the city where we could have our peace. Not that I would hate the fast-moving city life with the parties or the malls and this stuff, but I loved it more quiet where I could sleep without that every five minutes a car would wake me or Sam up and where I could work on my researches in my little lab I´ve created for myself. The lab was next to the kitchen which was also completely new set-up, everything out of stainless steel and the newest kitchen utensils. We could eat in the kitchen where we had a kitchen counter when we were alone or we ate in the dining room when we had guests. On the far side of the first floor was the huge living room where Sam and I spent most of the time. For the living room we have chosen a large and very comfortable couch we often just fell asleep on when we were snuggled up to each other under the blanket, watching a movie when my shift allowed it. At the beginning it was pretty hard for us because of my work and the changing times I would be at home. We had the issue with the time and our living together long before we bought this house. I loved Sam and that´s the reason why I took a time out for six months from my job. I had enough money to do that and my boss understood my situation and supported me in any possible way, gave me the time I needed and promised that my old position in the hospital would wait for me until I would come back.

Four and a half years ago, it was a hard time for us. She needed me and I couldn't imagine a life without her around me or by my side. We both supported each other through this time of sorrow and helplessness. But somehow we overcame that time and started, slowly and with small steps our life together. Over the years we had our ups and downs, somehow always found a solution and now we had a life full of love and contentedness with friends and fun.

I closed the door behind me, laid the keys in the box on the little chest of drawers next to the door and hung up my jacket I haven't worn in the cloakroom, stooped down to take off my shoes and put them down to the other ones. Like always I had to smile when I heard the little footsteps coming from the living room with a fast pace. And always when I heard them I knew I was home where my little family was waiting for me and where I could leave my work and the problems I sometimes had with it behind me, just concentrated on spending time with the persons I loved.

I looked up in the direction from where the noises came from and saw the little girl I loved with all my heart and more sprinting around the corner, beamed all over her face when she saw me and sped up a little more which let her hair blow in the wind, just to come to me as fast as possible. Like always I opened my arms wide, had the biggest smile I could have in my face and waited for her to reach me.

"Mommy, mommy, mommy…!" my daughter squealed with delight and just at the moment she was within my range I scooped her up and hugged her, held her tight against my body and kissed her on her little forehead.

These were the moments I was longing for, just holding my entire life in my arms and be able forget the bad world around us for several moments when just the two of us existed in our little bubble. I looked down to the small body in my arms and saw in the face that reminded me so much about her parents.

Samantha Marie Lewis was a carbon copy of her parents. She had the blonde hair which she wore shoulder-length and the cute nose from her mother, inherited her radiant light blue eyes and her dimples when she laughed from her wonderful father. But it never made me sad when I saw in her kind and always beaming face. I missed her parents beyond belief but seeing that they lived on in her daughter made me happy and I will do everything so that her parents could be proud of her.

"Mommy, mommy …are we going to the zoo today?" the little one asked, saw me with her big eyes and ´you can´t say no´-look in mine and melted my heart with it. It was so hard to say no to her when she used her puppy face and the pouty lip.

With one hand I held her and with the other one I spread a strand out of her face and kissed her again, this time on her cheek which caused her to giggle, letting me see her father´s dimples. With her in my arms I went along the corridor straight to the living room where Tamsin was for sure waiting for us.

"Of course! I´ve promised it and I say sorry for coming so late." I said and hoped that Tamsin wouldn't be angry because of my delay.

I knew she had to work and today she would get a new partner in her unit what she didn't like at all. Hale Santiago, her usual partner offered his help and flew to Africa where he would support the local police and helped to build schools for the children so that they could get an education and other important buildings which were necessarily needed. I was impressed by Hale that he wanted to do something like that and would have liked to go with him but I had a child and I wouldn't want to endanger her when we would be there and she would probably see horrible things. I just hoped that Hale was fine and that he would come home soon. He was there for almost a years and all this time Tamsin fought against a new partner. However her boss decided that now was finally the time for a new partner. I didn't know who it was but she has heard that he was arrogant and made wrong decisions and so I was on Tamsin´s side because I didn't want that this man put her at risk.

When we came into the room I saw Tamsin sitting on the couch in her clothes she always wore at work. She was in the police for 15 years and was one of the best detectives they had. With her unfaltering appearance and the authority she had was she able to intimidate everyone. At the same time she was one of the most loveable person I´ve ever met, had so much fun when she looked after Sam during the time I had to work and she the day off, made her laugh and brought her presents they could play with. She was like a big sister for Sam.

"Hi Tamsin. Sorry for the delay." I apologized. She dismissed it with a shrug.

"No problem. Now I have a reason why I´m late." She smiled at me, got up from the couch and came to us, Sam was still in my arms. She greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, I did the same.

"I´ve heard that you two are going to the zoo today. While you stayed a little longer in the hospital we imitated some animals and tried to made their sounds. But now I believe your neighbors might think we are lunatics or something like that." She said and was now standing in front of us, all of a sudden began to tickle the little girl I held which was giggling furiously because of the unexpected attack. Sam attempted to wiggle out of my embrace but I held her close, prevented that she could fall off. Knowing Sam since she was born, Tamsin knew all her ticklish spots and the little one couldn't do anything but trying to come out of her range.

"Stop ..aunt Tam… stop…" Sam was laughing uncontrollably and we joined in, "…I have to pee…" she said with tears in her eyes and Tamsin immediately stopped the attack on her belly.

"Hey! Don't pee on your mom or you won´t go to the zoo." Tamsin joked and took Sam from my in her arms which was happily accepted.

"I don't pee on people. I´m an adult!" she said proudly and stuck her tongue out, in Tamsin´s direction.

"Little girl, manners! If you want to be an adult you have to act like one. Don't stick you tongue out!" I reprimanded the cheeky girl and the little tongue immediately disappeared, now only the bright smile to see. She knew exactly which buttons she had to push hence nobody would be mad at her. And I knew that I had Tamsin to thank for that. She told my daughter how she could wrap me around her little finger, with the time I knew some of her tricks, but who could resist this cute pouty lip even when she has done something wrong, nobody could resist her.

"Sorry mom. Can we go to the zoo now? I want to see the elephants and the giraffes." She asked hopefully using the puppy face she had to offer, "Did you know that giraffes can reach the size of six meters, but only the male, the female can only reach the size of four and a half meters. That´s so cool." She had the proud written all over her face because she was able to share her knowledge with us.

We laughed. For her age Sam was already very intelligent, was interested in a lot of things, animals, the universe and medicine. The last three months, whenever I came home she asked me about all the difficult and various operations I had done that day and all possible illnesses I had to struggle with. I was amazed by her curiosity and loved to explain her some things, not the heavy stuff, not about the sorrow, the fear and the death I saw day after day. She knew all these things even when she had experienced them at a precociously young age. It wasn't necessary that she would be confronted with these things anymore. That´s the reason why I told her only about the easy operations I had made. It was fun and I was proud that this intelligent child was a part of my family. If her parents could see her they would be so delighted with her.

"Wow! Really! Then we should hurry to see them, huh? Come on, get your bag and we can go." I said, her eyes began to sparkle and she nodded.

"Yay! Let me down aunt Tam! Let me down!" the little blonde squealed with joy and wanted to be sat down.

The moment her tiny feet touched the ground she ran as fast as she could up the stairs straight to her room were we had packed the bag before I had to go to work, so I knew that she had everything she needed for our trip. I averted my gaze from the stairs and turned to Tamsin who had a smile on her lips. She loved Sam too and would do everything to make her happy.

"Are you visiting your family after the zoo?" She asked, suddenly a hint of sadness to hear in her voice.

"Yes. Sam has painted a picture and wanted to show them her work of art." I knew that Tamsin missed my family a lot.

She was a part of our family since I was a little kid, I think I was nine when I had made her acquaintance. At this time she was already twelve but we became friends very quickly. Today her parents lived in Saint John and every three or four months she visited them, sometimes Sam and I had the time to come with her because we loved them too. They were really good-hearted people and Sam had always fun when we were there. Margret, Tamsin´s mother, was a housewife like no other, baked, cooked and was friendly to everyone. Her father James was the head of the police in the town so it was logical that his daughter would follow him in his footsteps and she was doing well. Our families were friends and they immediately were by my and Sam´s side after they heard what happened, they were great and still are.

"Lauren?" Tamsim´s voice put me out of my thoughts and I looked up, seeing her questioning gaze.

"Sorry. What did you say?"

"I´ve asked if I should take you and Sam with me. The zoo is on my way and I don't want you to drive. You have a long shift behind you and I can see that you are tired." And again I was thankful to have Tamsin, she always knew what to do and took care of me when I didn't do it or didn't perceive in this case my tiredness.

"If it´s not too much to ask then I would accept your offer. I´m tired, yes. But I gave Sam the promise to go with her to the zoo." The understanding nod signaled me that she comprehended my situation. I didn't want to be the person who couldn't keep its promises. I didn't want to be like my father.

"Alright. Then it´s decided." The lighter mood was back and we could hear the little whirlwind coming down the stairs.

She was out of breath as she reached us but happy and more than excited to go now. Not wanting her to get impatient I exchanged glances with Tamsin who discerned my thoughts, just nodded and lifted up Sam in her arms again.

"Okay little bug. I´ll drive you to the zoo and in the evening you can show me how the animals really sound. Alright?" Taking her furiously nodding as a yardstick I guessed that it was more than okay.

With Sam sitting on her right arm and in the left her bag for the work we went to the car and drove off. During the ride, Tamsin and Sam sang along with every song the radio had to offer, no matter how bad it sounded when they yelled the wrong lines, they ignored the glances from the people in the other cars who must have heard everything because we had the windows down and I could only try to hide my face that had the embarrassment written all over. The other two wrong singers thought that it was cool, they had their fun. When I had a break from the popstars of tomorrow Sam told us more about the animals she knew. We showed our interest and spurred her on to continue with that, seeing that she really liked it to talk about animals, maybe she would follow this way when she was grown-up. When she was happy then I could only be too.

Ten minutes later we arrived and Sam climbed out of the car, took my hand and dragged me to the entrance. Laughing I looked back to Tamsin who also had a genuine happy smile on her lips.

"We see you tonight!" I shouted, she raised her hand and waved goodbye.

Tamsin drove to the police station where she would meet her new partner while Sam and I scouted out the various small and big animal which were living in the lavishly decorated enclosures.

**.**

We walked through the zoo for about 3 hours, saw nearly in every preserve and cage they had. It wasn't that much going on, of course it was a Tuesday. Who would go on a Tuesday in the zoo? The good thing was that we hadn't the problem with the over-curious children who liked it to press their faces against the windows thus left their DNA on them which was more than disgusting for the following people who wanted to see through the barrier too and I told Sam that she shouldn't do the same. But today it was no problem. Because of the small amount of people, we had the chance to feed some little animals, for instance the ferrets which were really cute with their little paws and the upright posture. We saw the elephants, young goats and of course the giraffes Sam wanted to see so desperately. One of them bowed its head to us so that she could stroke the fur and we saw the blue tongue. I had to admit that it was really great. We had a lot of fun and my daughter showed enthusiasm for everything, talked with the zoo-keepers about the things she knew. The people were very nice and explained her all she wanted to know and more. When it was time for the lunch we searched for a bench and sat down. For Sam I had prepared a sandwich with salad and tuna, I ate an apple and after the short break we had continued our walk.

Now it was almost 1 in the early afternoon, meant that we had time to buy some flowers for the family and could visit them after that. We took the bus and one stop before we would have reached them we got off because we knew that there was the flower shop my mother liked so much. It was there for more than twenty-five years and had always the best flowers. We bought her favorite ones, marguerites and for the other family members we did the same. Marguerites symbolize naturalness and pure luck. Mother liked them because of their simplicity, so we gave her a bunch of flowers to every birthday and now every time we visited her.

Usually we walked the last distance, held us by the hands and Sam told me what she thought was the best she had seen today. The sun was still shining, no cloud was in sight, because of that I decided that we could get us an ice and naturally the sweets lover didn't mind. So we digressed into the next café and I bought Sam scoops of her favorite taste, cherry. Always loving to try new things out I took one with Latte Macchiato and one with my usual sort which was lemon. With our waffles in the hands we walked along the street, lapped up our refreshment and few minutes later we arrived and stood now in front of the massive and ornate fence we already knew very well.

We disposed of our napkins from the ice and went inside the big garden like I always called it when we came here, Sam knew what it was but I did it anyway, somehow it was easier for me too.

The way fixed in our memory we went along the other nice flower arrangements. From a distance I could see where our family was waiting for us. Each time when we were only fifty meters away Sam let go off my hand and went on ahead to greet her parents and her grandmother. The only thing that made me sad was that she never had the opportunity to meet her fabulous grandma who would have loved her grandchild with all her heart. My mom died far too early and I missed her every day I couldn't be together with her. The same was valid for the other, most important person in my life, my sister Julia.

Sam was already sitting in front of her parents´ grave and told them what she had experienced today. I sat down beside her and listened to her. It was great that she loved them so much even if she had known them only for a short time. I looked at the engraving of the tombstone, telling everyone who went by what kind of persons I was allowed to call my family. Michael Edward Smith, beloved son, husband and father and Julia Smith, beloved daughter, wife and mother. She took on his name after they got married.

I remembered the day they had their wedding, Sam turned one year a month before and was chipper, wore a really cute outfit and looked forward to her mommy´s and daddy´s day like the rest of us. I was Julia´s maid of honor, gave a speech after that everybody had tears in the eyes and I lived to see the best day in my sister´s young life.

Because we hadn't invited our father to the wedding Michael´s dad offered his help and walked her down the aisle to hand over his daughter-in-law to his son. It was a romantic ceremony and a great party later. We were sad that our mom couldn't be there but somehow we knew that she was happy for her oldest daughter. I could see that on that day my sister was the happiest woman on earth, she married the man she loved and had a beautiful child. Everything couldn't have been better. But only a year later their wonderful life as a family had to end.

I loved her and my mom beyond belief and it was a hard time to accept that my only sister who was there for me and supported me her entire life was all of a sudden dead, just because of one stupid person that took two kind-hearted people from us and had to leave a two year old child behind. It was soon five years ago when they died and I adopted Sam. They had to die at an early age, were both only thirty-two, as old as I now. Sometimes it seemed not to be real, as if I could feel them, touch them. But at the end I woke up with tears streaming down my cheeks and knew that they weren't there. They weren't there to see her daughter grow up, couldn't see how beautiful she was, couldn't play with her in the yard with the dog they wanted to have one day. I tried as good as I could to enable Sam to have a good life with no worries but I couldn't prevent the days when she cried in my arms until she fell asleep, those days were hard for both of us. She told me that she missed them but was more than glad that she had me now. I was really glad that we had such a good relationship, also with good and bad days but we were happy, more than I would have imagined.

"… and then we saw the tall giraffe and I could stroke her mommy. That was sooo cool!" Sam tried to show with her hands how tall the animal was by stretching out her hands as wide as possible.

I called the picture in my mind, the one Sam has painted for them and gave her a tap on the shoulder. She looked up to me, the beaming face was smiling at me.

"Didn't you want to show them something?" I asked and glanced to her bag she had put the paper in.

She thought about it for several seconds until she knew what I meant and it didn't seem so but the smile on her lips went wider. As fast as she could she grabbed inside the bag, searched for her drawing and raised it in the air as she had found it. She unrolled and showed it, I saw it the first time too.

With many different colors Sam has drawn her parents, her grandma, Tamsin, Tamara and me. We all held hands with Sam in the middle. She has written the names above every person and explained what she had painted and who you could see. We all sat on a meadow and it seamed like we would have a picnic or something like that. It was really lovely and it was amazing how good she could paint. She was a child full of talents.

We stayed for a while, just enjoyed the time together. After that we decided to go to my mother´s grave which was only two rows behind the one of her daughter. We laid the flower and the picture on the gravestone and said goodbye for this time and walked some steps further.

Now we stood in front of my mother´s grave. It was a simple stone like she wanted it, just with the day of her birth and death and the name on it, Marie Lewis. She always kept her maiden name, wanted her freedom in some way, the freedom she didn't had in the short marriage with my father. Marie was also Sam´s second name. Before her birth Julia decided to give her that name, wanted to honor our mother in some way and so Sam always knew who her grandma was.

After I have wiped away some leafs we put the marguerites on the stone, waited some moments with holding hands and then we made our way home. It was always nice to visit them and I wanted that Sam knew who her family was, always pointing out who she was.

**.**

We took the bus but regretted it the moment we got in. Now it was stuffy, hot and there were too many people. We had to stay and were pressed against the other passengers, I had to lean over Sam so that no one could squash her. This torture went on for fifteen minutes until we welcomed the still warm but fresh air when we climbed out of the bus.

After we were home I saw on the clock, showing me that it was half past two and meant that I could take a short nap before Tamsin and her companion would arrive. I had everything in the house for the dinner, vegetables for a salad and all ingredients for Carbonara which wasn't extravagant and Sam loved it too. Kept that in my mind I was able to rest two hours or a little longer.

Not wanting to let Sam out of my sight I decided to take my snooze on the couch in the living room where my keen daughter was already sitting on the armchair reading another book she was interested in.

"Sam!" She looked up from her book and at me, "Could you wake me in two hours and then we could prepare the dinner when our guests come?" I asked and lay down on the soft couch.

"No problem." She replied.

"Thank you." I whispered and noticed how tired I really was by falling asleep right away, haven't seen the smirk in Sam´s little face when she attended back to her book.

**.**

"Lauren… Psst…Hey…" I heard a familiar voice from afar, couldn't place it at first.

"Lauren, come on! It´s time for dinner." I thought it was Tamsin, but that couldn't be. She was supposed to be here at 7 when everything would be set.

I awoke with a start which was definitely to fast and I closed my eyes for a moment again, held my head with my hands, let the dizziness go past me. The supporting hand on my back caused me to look up and my assumption was confirmed. I saw in Tamsin´s smiling face. But that meant I had slept more than two hours. Sam should wake me up. Where was she anyway? I searched for my daughter hectically in the room, couldn't find her anywhere but immediately calmed down when I saw her coming down the stairs, seeing that I was awake and had the same smile like Tamsin on her lips. You could really believe that they were sisters.

"Sam, why didn't you wake me?" I asked, really not knowing why my daughter didn't do what I had asked her for. I turned to Tamsin who was standing beside Tamara and had her hand around her girlfriend´s waist.

"Guys, I´m so sorry. Now we haven't anything to eat." I apologized, already thinking what I could do.

"Lauren, calm down! Everything is okay." Tamara tried to ease the mood.

"Nothing is okay. You came here and I was asleep and nothing is prepared." I interrupted her, let my hands run through my hair, remembered what I had in the fridge and could make for us.

Suddenly my nose was filled with the smell of grilled chicken and I could swear I smelled the dip which was a part of my favorite meal of the Thai cuisine. I turned around to Sam who saw that I had noticed something, came to the couch and sat on my lap, already using her pouty lip.

"I´ve called aunt Tam and asked her if she could get us something to eat. You were really tired and I wanted you to have some more sleep. Please don't be mad at me!?" the cutest girl who was sitting on my legs looked down at her shoes which were swinging in the air. I looked towards the two women next to the armchair and they nodded to answer the little girl´s statement in the affirmative. Only able to grin from ear to ear I pulled the little blonde in my arms and kissed her hair.

"How could I be mad at you." I said looking down and met my daughter´s gaze and she seemed to be relieved that I wasn't angry, "How could I be mad at the most beautiful and sweetest daughter I could ever have? Thank you for the great surprise!" Sam giggled and we stayed for a moment in our embrace, I mouthed a thank you to Tamara and Tamsin who just laughed.

We went together in the dining room where everything was set and sat down at the table, Tamsin with her girlfriend on one side, Sam and I on the other and I saw I was right, it was my favorite food.

The chicken was great and Tamsin asked Sam how our day was. She was immediately on fire and told the two guests what we had seen today, the lutes of several animals included.

Later Tamsin told us how her new partner was and said that the rumors were right. The man was arrogant, had a high opinion of himself and didn't follow orders. I didn't had a good feeling. Tamsin said that she could handle him somehow but I asked her to be careful nevertheless. I would give this man a good talking-to if he would endanger my best friend in any possible way.

After that we changed our theme and went on with lighter contents. It was a really lovely evening with good food and fun. We were like a little and happy family without any complications or difficult pasts. I saw that Tamsin and Tamara were really happy. They were together for ten years now, since they were twenty-five, it was amazing. Keeping up a good relationship was hard, I knew that, but seeing that two people could be so happy even after such a long time together let me hope that I would also find my other half someday so that I could find my own piece of happiness. Maybe one day.

It was getting late and I had to stand up early so I got up from the table to bring the dishes in the kitchen. I was about to go in the kitchen with some plates in my hands when the tall blonde looked at me in disbelief.

"What are you doing?" Tamsin asked. I was a little confused.

"As a matter of course I tidy up after you have brought the food. Why?" I answered.

All got up and Tamara took the plates out of my hands and went with them in the kitchen. Now I was really confused. Sam saw the expression in my face and came to me, tugged at my shirt and I saw her in the eyes.

"You don't have to do anything. You can go to bed and sleep. We´ll clean everything." She offered.

"But you are my guests. You don't have to do all this." I protested, looking at the women.

"Are you tired Lauren?" Tamsin asked, already knew the answer.

"Yeah…but.." I admitted.

"No buts! You go to bed now! We take care of everything and bring Sam to bed after all is cheerful." She pushed me out of the kitchen to the stairs.

"Thank you. I don't know how I have deserved you guys." It was more than honest.

"Yeah yeah…. We know we are great. Now go to bed!" All laughed and I gave up.

Sam came out of the kitchen and I lifted her up in my arms, Tamara followed her and now we stood all at the landing.

"Good night mommy." The cute one in my arms whispered.

"Good night sweetie." We kissed each other on the cheek and I put her down.

I gave my best friends a kiss on the cheek too and went up the stairs to my very comforting bed I´ve missed so much. After a quick but necessary hot shower I put on my night shorts and an old Yale shirt and climbed into my bed. The changed sheets smelled like flowers and wrapped me up in a wonderful veil. Now I had the time to review all the events that happened today and I was unable to help it and thought back to Bo. I remembered her beautiful face, her fine and soft features, her special charisma. I felt a connection between us, something was there but I didn't know if I was right, if I had interpreted her signs right or not. Something pulled me to her. I looked forward to see her tomorrow and with these mind in my head I fell into a reassuring sleep with a smirk on my lips.

**.**

**Alright guys…I hope the sneak peeks were okay and hope that I caused a stir of interest =)**

**I don't know when I have the time to update this story because I want to concentrate on ´the girl…´ but I won´t let this one down..**

**Leave some reviews and I know what you think… have a nice day and…**

**To be continued….**


	3. chapter: This feeling inside

**So guys, sorry for letting you wait, but here I am back with a new chapter which is also the longest I´ve ever written. Like I said before I will update this story more sporadically as long as I have not finished the other one. I hope it is okay, however, when it will take too long for you just tell me and I will see what I can do. I already thought about trying to reduce the size of the chapters to update earlier, but then I have the feeling that the content would be teared apart and that´s not what I want at all. So please bear with me, I really try to do a good job with my stories. **

**This time, all mistakes are mine. I will post the corrected version at a later time. **

**And now, hope you enjoy this longer chapter...**

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**.**

I was awakened by the chirping of the birds, slowly opened my eyes to make them used to the bright shining sun and saw the little singers sitting on the tree in front of my window. A glance on my clock told me that I could rest five more minutes but got up anyway giving me some more time for preparing the breakfast and spending time with my family. Like every morning before I did anything else I put on my dressing gown, made my way to my balcony and opened the big glass doors to step out, enjoyed the fresh air that filled my nose and followed the rising of the sun for several minutes. It was always such an invigorating feeling to let the first sunrays warm my body and I could charge my batteries for the upcoming day with its challenges. I could start this day well rested thanks to the three most wonderful women, well two and a half women, I called my family, I haven't slept that long for months.

After the sun had past the horizon I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, washed my face and did the other morning habits. While I chose my outfit I thought about today´s curse that we had. First I would bring Sam to school, the nanny picks her up and I would meet my daughter tonight when I came home, that wasn't much for today. We had no appointments and Sam had no other lessons after the school. Twenty minutes later I was ready and left my room, wanted to go to my daughter to wake her up as well, but paused when her door was opened and a cute sleepy girl who rubbed her blue eyes came out. She was still in her Hello Kitty pajamas showing me that she was still my little innocent child even when she was behaving like an adult, walking along the corridor and to the bathroom, she hadn't noticed me yet. She stopped before she would have collided with my legs as she saw my shadow on the floor, raised her head and looked me through her uncombed hair right into my eyes. Immediately a huge smile appeared in her round face and she stretched out her short arms to be lifted up. I granted her wish and a second later she kissed me on my cheek, hugged me tight.

"Good morning, mommy." She said full of joy and crossed her legs behind my back.

"Morning sweetie. Did you have a good night?" I patted down her hair while my other hand was under her butt, supporting the growing body in my arms.

"Mmmh… Tam Tam read out the chemical book to me. They didn't understand some things so I explained the words to them." She said, her voice was filled with pride.

Sam always called Tamsin and Tamara just Tam Tam, she believed it was funny and her aunts like she called them took it for granted. That was certainly a remarkable pleasure to watch both as they tried to read from the scientific book that was originally meant for seasoned medical professionals and scientists. Normally, I would do what the two had done last night, but perhaps it was a welcome change for the little girl. It maybe was strange that a young child like Sam didn't want to have read something from a children's book, but that's what my daughter was like and I would never forbid her to educate herself or to pursue the dreams she seeks. Her thirst for knowledge was immeasurably and I also fulfilled her urge for new books. I was just glad that I had got her a library card or else we would have a whole room full of books because she was interested in so many different topics. She was an extraordinary person and the most important part of my life.

"You for certain have impressed them with all the knowing you have in your little nut." I pawed with my finger at her head and the shy little girl came to light. I gave her a kiss on her forehead and set her down.

"Alright. Get ready and in the meantime I prepare the breakfast. Any special wishes?" I asked when I was already standing with my foot on the second step.

"Nope. Just as usual." An easy answer resulted an easy solution.

While I organized the breakfast Sam was upstairs and made herself ready for the school day. For me I made coffee, toast and some fruits, the little bug wanted the usual which consisted of a bowl with muesli and orange juice. After I had served everything on the table came the brighter seeming Sam down the stairs and sat down on the stool in front of her bowl. I took the seat right next to her and like every time when we ate in the morning together, I read the news from all around the world and the wannabe adult had fun and giggled abut the Cartoons in the magazine. It was nice to just sit side by side and start the day together. After Julia´s and my mom´s died, we had no longer mornings like these where we could laugh and talk about everything, we both were on our own and made the best out of it, even when our father was supposed to take care of us, but he didn't. My sister and I supplied that we had our own little and happy life as good as it went without the assistance of our mother we needed desperately at that time.

A look on the clock told us that we had to get up so that Sam arrived at school on time and so I was punctual to begin my work. We cleaned the kitchen, the pupil got her satchel and I went to my labor where I had put in my bag and some important documents. After we had all together, we exited the house and walked to the garage where my car was, packed away the things in the trunk and left. During the ride told me Sam, what subjects she had today and how far they were with the subject matter.

No twenty five minutes later I stopped in front of her school and at once my sharp daughter saw her best friends. Despite her intelligence she didn't intimidate the kids with her knowledge, everyone just wanted to play and get to know each other. At the beginning I though that Sam would have trouble getting along with new people around her but it wasn't so. On the same day she came to school she made friends with all the other children, was cheerful and always nice, that's what made her that lovable. After she had hugged me a last time she jumped out of the car and waved goodbye.

"See you tonight mommy!" she yelled on the way to her friends.

"Have a nice day sweetie and have fun with Mable. I see you in the evening." I closed the window on the nearside and drove slowly away.

The sun was shining on the cloudless sky, you could see that it would be a warm day. I let down the window pane on my side, put on my glasses and enjoyed the light breeze which let my hair wave in the wind. The morning traffic hasn't reached his peak as yet thus I arrived at the hospital within less than a quarter of an hour. I parked the car on a free parking space, got my stuff and bolted the car. I had some more minutes so I decided to use the main entrance because I liked the garden design with the existing symmetry and the love for the details which the hospital had arranged to build two years ago.

I was about to open the door when I heard someone whistle, rolled my eyes because it was this melody the men use when they thought it would get them any kind of attention. When I turned round to look at the joker I saw Bo´s sister approaching me with an impressed and lopsided grin on her lips. I took off my glasses.

"Damn doc! If I wouldn't knew it better you could think that you´re a model or something like that. With these legs…phew. The lab coat covers all the good stuff that gave you captain whitebeard up there!" Kenzi blurted out.

I couldn't keep a straight face, looked down at me to check the clothes I decided to wear today and to find out what caused this reaction from Kenzi. My outfits was composed of blue pumps, a pencil skirt of the same color and a white close-fitting blouse which showed a part of my cleavage. This morning I had the feeling to wear something sexier, that was close-fitting. Even Sam told me that I looked pretty nice so I could understand the vocal outburst of the black-haired opposite me. Maybe it was a little bit too risqué for a normal day in the hospital, however now that I had Kenzi In front of me it occurred to me that I maybe have chosen this outfit on purpose, but subconsciously. I might wanted to impress a certain brunette, I couldn't think of another reason why I should put on a show for anyone else. Well there could be another person but I had no feelings for her anymore so could rule out this possibility.

"I interpret that as a compliment. Thanks Kenzi." I smirked, didn't feel embarrassed or anything else.

"Yo.. what true is is true. No problem."

Together we entered the entrance hall, I offered my help to carry on of the bags the very strong woman had in her hands and she gave me one, wondered what could be inside.

"And how is Bo? Any changes while I wasn't here?" I asked her about her sister when we stepped in the elevator.

"Nope, all fine. She had rested like her sexy doc had ordered and I checked the station out. You have really good stuff in your canteen, I have to admit!" she noted. I overheard the comment with sexy doc.

"That makes me happy, I mean the condition of you sister, but it´s nice that you like the hospital food. I will pass on the information to our cooks." I was more than glad that everything was fine with Bo, so far all was okay.

The bell from the elevator rang letting us know that we had reached out targeted ward where I had to treat my patients and at the same time where Kenzi´s sister was lying. Before I could begin to do my round I had to fetch my clothes and announce that I was there so that the nurses knew about my presence. I looked at my company and gave her the bag.

"I go get changed and then I start with my round. I could be by you probably in less than an hour. It´s not that much going on this week, it should go rapidly."

"Oki doki doc. See ya later." With that she pranced along the corridor to the person she would visit.

Shaking my head about her kind I made my way in the other direction to the day room where my coat and the things for the coming shift were. Inwardly I was excited, maybe a little nervous too, I didn't know why. Well I had something in mind, but now I had to concentrate on my other patients that needed my help as well. So I changed my clothes, found Patricia who was the nurse that came after Natalie had ended her work for today and fetched my patient´s files.

After the next three-quarters of an hour I was done with all the people under the supervision of me, also got some compliments for how pretty I looked today and I thanked them for the nice words. I brought all the files back to Patricia, she wasn't in a good mood this morning, just hoped that the older lady wouldn't take her temper out on the patients. She was a good nurse, however sometimes she could be a hellcat, maybe because she knew that I favored Natalie who was simply better over her what bothered the woman with more than thirty-five years experience. Today I just felt the cheerfulness inside me and nothing would change this feeling. And now I had the file with the last patient in my hand and left Patricia to go down the long floor to the almost last room. It would take its time to explain all the upcoming tests we had to do and for sure there would be some questions or fear, but this was a part of my job, to interact with the people who needed our help and I always treated every single man or woman with the same amount of time. For me, everyone was equal.

With every step I came closer and closer to the room and with every second grew my excitement. I didn't know why I felt like that, somehow the woman in this room, in this bed made me nervous but in a good way. It felt like something in me was rising, wanted to come out, I expected that it subsided but now, I could just describe it as butterflies in my stomach, as nothing else.

I stood in front of the door, took a last preparatory breath and knocked on the door, opened it to step inside after I heard a muffled yes. The moment I lifted my head I paused when those warm dark brown eyes caught mine again and I forget anything else around me, I only saw her, couldn't prevent the smile that was spreading out on my lips. It wasn't possible but she looked more beautiful than the day before, it wasn't just the morning sun that emphasized her very feminine silhouette, she wore a top that offered a view on her trained arms and I couldn't avoid it to take a glimpse on her more than representable cleavage. It was unbelievable how sexy this woman was.

"Good morning doctor Lewis." Her voice was like a melody I never wanted to end, nevertheless it brought me back to the original reason why I was here and my gaze left her smooth skin.

"Good morning Bo." I said and nodded in Kenzi´s direction who had a suspicious grin in her face.

Without thinking about the reason I opened the file and searched for the checklist that Natalie had prepared as I had ordered it. After turning over a few pages I found the written piece on which everything was proper organized up to the smallest information, just the way I liked it and I mentally thanked someone for giving me this hard and prefect working young woman. But now came the part where I had to explain the way of proceeding. The folder in my hand I looked up to see four eyes watching every move I made and who waited for my next words, Kenzi got up to stand by her lying sister. Seeing that they were fairly relaxed I approached them until I was standing at the end of the bed giving me a direct view on the two of them so that I could start with my explanation.

"For the next couple of days you have to stay at the hospital, we will run some test and after that we have to wait for the results. We won´t do all the various procedures all at once. We don't know what the reason is why you are here and because of that we have to proceed in a certain way to prevent any kind of stress or strain your body perhaps couldn't bear. " I stopped for a minute to see whether they have understood all I´ve said so far. They nodded thus I continued, "The nurses will bring you to the several study areas, you don't have to worry about anything. We will do our best to find the issue." The last part was used to give them some confidence for the next hours and days.

Again I waited for them and like the last time there was only calmness to see in Bo´s eyes, no hesitation, not the fear that I normally saw written on the peoples faces when I told them what was about to come. I discerned nothing along those lines, was glad that it was that easy with her.

A few moments later I thought because they still had no questions, even the eloquent Goth to my right hadn´t said anything, that I should take the lead, saw on my watch and decided that I could bring them to Bo´s first appointment. Giving them a reassuring smile I walked over to the left side of the bed opposite from Kenzi and looked down to the brunette.

"If there are no questions so far, I could bring you to your first date of the day." My words conjured up a smirk and Bo saw me right into the eyes.

"You don't have to do this Dr. Lewis. The fairy godmother Patricia already informed us that she would bring me to the lower ward for the tests. She´s a lovely person." The unmistakable sarcasm in her voice caused me to chuckle and prompted her in turn to do the same. How she pronounced my name, how sensual my name left her lips. These lips I wanted to taste so desperately…

I heard Kenzi huffing and tore me away from Bo´s mouth and the little, so cute dimples to look at the younger woman. I´ve already asked myself this question so often, but what was this woman just doing to me? For now, my gaze turned away I looked into the light blue eyes of her sister who had an annoyed expression in her face.

"This woman is a dragon! She wanted to chuck me out of my dearly beloved canteen! Boy was I pissed! BoBo here knows how I can be when I don't get my three bowl of Froot Loops in the morning." With widened eyes I locked them with Bo´s and she gave me an `Oh Yeah!`-look confirming her sister´s assertion.

I couldn't help and saw up and down her body which was so lean and small. How was she able to eat that much? Now I had the assumption that both women were not from this world, I have never met such a pair.

"Alright! I think we should go now. They are waiting for you." I began still chuckling, directly on my way to get the wheelchair which was next to the wall. I turned round when I heard the rustling of the sheets, saw the brunette wanted to go on her own.

"Bo, we use the wheelchair to bring you down." I had my hands on the handles of the rolling seat.

"I have no trouble with my feet so I can walk the short distance. It´s no problem." She was a proud woman, no denying. But it was really better for her to sit in the mobile chair.

"I know but it´s for your safety." I tried it that way. All patients were supposed to sit in one of these things for their and our safety, on the one side for them that they didn't get hurt and on the other side as an insurance for the hospital that the people couldn't take proceedings against us for possible accidents.

So I brought the wheelchair with me and positioned it right next to the stubborn brunette who avoided to take notice of the help. She was now standing beside the bed and was about to go to the door. I reached out for her.

"Bo, please sit…" I didn't get further because all of a sudden an electrical pulse rushed through my entire body filling me with such an amazing feeling that took my breath away and I couldn't finished my sentence. All in me was on a high and the reason for that was my hand touching Bo´s supple skin, my fingers just graced her skin lightly and only that caused such an unbelievable wave of so many fabulous emotions.

I had my eyes closed, reopened them just to see that the woman in front of me, this woman who was so wonderful and magnificent also held her breath because of our little but intensive connection. Not like me, her eyes were still shut and I could see that she more than enjoyed this feeling as well. But after a too short moment of savoring she slowly opened her eyes, looked down at my hand which was slightly resting on the bare skin of her arm, loosened the focus from the place were our skins touched to travel with her eyes up my forearm over my shoulder, finding my neck and for a second or two she stopped at my opened mouth and another wave of shivers made its way up and down my body. She terminated the claim on my lips to capture my eyes with hers in the end. I couldn't believe what was happening, no one, really no one was able to evoke such a desire in me like Bo did it just with a simple and innocent touch.

"Okay…" that was the only thing that Bo has said, maybe she wasn't able to form an articulated sentence, too.

We held each others gaze, nothing more was said, nothing more was necessary, it was only the moment of pure bliss that existed between us.

"Lady… you have some mojo! Are you a BoBo whisperer or something like that and if yes… can I rent you.. this woman I HAVE to call my sister on some days can sometimes be a strain on my nerves if you know what I mean… obviously not…" There was a noise to hear in the background.

We noticed the third person in the room and much to my dismay I had to pull back my hand not wanting it to look strange that I touched my patient longer than necessary. After I exhaled the air that was far too long in my lungs I composed myself and remembered what I wanted to say, somehow I couldn't, had only the dark brown eyes spinning in my mind. Bo and I looked over to the slim woman who had cleared her throat to get the attention.

"Where were you a second ago? It had to be awesome by the way you looked at each other? Like some horny teenagers." The smug grin on the black-haired´s lips was more than evident and I guessed it was supposed to be like that.

"Kenzi! Shut it!" Bo barked at her little sister who didn't care about the yelling.

It was more than uncomfortable for me to let the things get out of hand. The wheelchair appeared in my thoughts and was glad to change the embarrassing subject with which Kenzi wanted to carry on, for sure with ulterior motives. Again I took the wheelchair, rolled it a little forwards in Bo´s direction and pointed to her with a genuine, maybe a pleading look asking to finally sit down. And this time without any hesitation she did what I had asked her silently for and sat down. I sighed.

A slight push and the wheels began to roll directly out of the room to the elevator that should bring us one ward lower. On the way Kenzi avoided it to say anything, nonetheless couldn't let it to glance at us from time to time, probably waiting that we touched again in any possible way. But I wouldn't let it come to that again. I clearly remembered the first touch, could still feel the tingling in my fingertips and didn't know what could happen if my skin would brush against hers a second time. The urge was immense and the seconds that passed in the elevator with my hands on the handles only inches away from the toned body it was getting harder and harder not to raise my hand and overcome the small distance between us just to feel any kind of passion, the feeling that I´ve missed so much.

But I didn't. It was beyond unprofessional what I did, what I had done in the room when I was so close to her. She was and would be my patient for an unforeseeable time and within this time there was no chance that I would allow any further or emotional contact between us even when it was really hard for me.

We reached the ward, I sighed when the door opened and we continued our road to the first room. Shortly afterwards we came around the corner I saw the sign with the name on it showing me that we headed in the right direction. We stopped in front of the door and I opened it to see that the other doctor was already waiting for us.

"Hello Phillip." I greeted the man who sat on the chair next the desk with the equipment for the test.

"Hello Lauren. I see you brought me your patient by yourself." He looked at Bo, "You must be someone special when Dr. Lewis takes a lot of trouble to bring you down just for this little test." The grin in the forty years old man´s face caused me to flush.

"I had the time to bring her to you and it was a good reason to see you again." I tried to explain with a joke.

Suddenly my pager informed me that I also had something else to do and the text showed me that there was an emergency coming in ten minutes. That meant that I had to go. I turned to Bo and her sister.

"Alright! You are in good hands. I have to go now. Maybe we´ll see each other again today." I motioned to Phillip, "And if he gets up to nonsense, call me." I quipped and the man behind me chuckled.

"Doctor Lewis.." Her voice let me turn to her when I was standing at the door.

"Yes?" I said looking her in the eyes with a smile on my lips.

"By the way, you look really ho… I mean nice. You look really nice today." It was the first time I saw Bo blushing because of the insidious word that almost slipped from her lips. It was very cute that even she couldn't put on a straight face all the time. I thought that she hadn´t noticed how I looked today but seeing in her face and the bright smile beside the little embarrassment caused the corners of my mouth to make their way up until it almost hurt. Bo emitted such a charm that you couldn't do anything else than be captivated by her.

"Thank you Bo. I see you then." I said friendly still having the biggest smile I´ve ever had in my face and finally exited the room to give them their time for the tests. While I was going to the elevator that should bring me down so that I could do my job, Bo was passing the tests to probably find her hidden illness.

**.**

The next eight hours went by very quickly and after nothing happened within the last hour I told Patricia who calmed down after she had her lunch that I would check my patience before I was done with my work for today. I always did that, looking after my patients when I had the time, grabbed the first file and walked to the room. It was really nice talking with the persons that were here for longer and sometimes I was happy when they went through a hard time in the hospital and were able to go home. I missed some patients because they took a shine to me and I knew how they felt. I was a person who wanted the contact to the people I had to operate, I wanted that they trusted me, they should see that I´m not a doctor that only lanced their bodies without knowing the person in front of them. And the patients thanked me for that, sometimes with flowers or something else and that just made me more happy telling me that I had picked the right way for my life. Sometimes I also had to treat children which was more difficult, not because of their illnesses but it was hard when you knew you had your own child sitting at home and it was healthy. No parent wanted to see their children in a hospital and so I sympathized with the parents or relatives. There were good and bad days I had to go through, however today was a good one, no one died and nothing bad happened during my shift.

I´ve talked with everyone for a short time, asked how they felt and when I remembered something they told me some time ago they were happy that I came around for a little talk and wanted to know what their children did or other family members. Meanwhile I checked their vitals and made my way to the next one. It were all really nice people.

Later I looked on the clock, the hands in the little circle showed me that I had about ten minutes for the last patient and then I could go home to Sam who was waiting for me with Mable. I was more than happy to go home soon to meet my daughter but at the same time not that sad about the fact that, like in the morning that my last patient was a certain brunette, I wasn't sad at all. And again she ghosted in my thoughts while I was working, she didn't distracted me from the operations I was carrying out, however I couldn't cut her completely out and always had a little smile on my lips when I had her stunning face in front of my eyes.

Like I did it all the time, it was just polite, I knocked on the door before I entered the room seeing that there was no Kenzi entertaining her sister who was for sure tired because of the exhausting day. I was right, after I saw that there was no raven-haired woman in the room my gaze wandered from the bed end up until my eyes found a sleeping beauty slightly snoring with her head buried in the pillow.

So I approached the sleeping brunette silently with prudent footsteps on the floor to go behind the bed to check her vitals on the monitors which were indicating me that everything was fine. Seeing out of the window I looked down right into the park where some families were walking along the paths enjoying the concluding day and the last minutes of the visit time. It was a nice picture to see these happy people with children and parents having a nice time even when they were here because one of their members were sick or needed some special kind of our treatment. That remembered me that I also had someone waiting for me at home to spend the evening with a nice dinner and fun.

My view of the red orange lit horizon averted which initiated the coming night, I looked back down at the peaceful-looking Bo who lightly stirred in her sleep, her chest slowly rising and lowering with every breath that filled her lungs with air, paved the circulation following after a short time through her small, sweet nose a way out. For some minutes I stood there, just there to watch her sleep in a method which is not opened up to me what at this moment was completely irrelevant because I just enjoyed the sight of her which I took in to anchor it forever in my head. Everything in me was in absolute harmony and I was filled with a calmness that I hardly knew any more and she who did nothing more than to lie in bed and relax evoke this, as well as many other feelings without much trouble in me.

A strand of her hair loosened itself and fell her in the face, didn't seem to interfere with her probably dreamless sleep. Nevertheless I lifted the rigidity of my body by walking a step towards her, leaned carefully down to her and stretched out my right hand. With my upper body hovering over her I stroked slowly her hair and by doing that it was unable to avoid that I touched the soft skin of her cheek when I put the dark brown tress out of her countenance and laid it prudently behind her ear. However I couldn't, maybe didn't want to end the contact which existed between my fingers and her cream and silky surface, didn't want to lose the feeling that she aroused in me which intensified many times over when we touched. Automatically my thumb began to brush against her skin up and down with a really slow pace, it felt as if I would have done this my entire life. I even carried on when she all of a sudden leaned into my touch, lightly buried her cheek more in the palm of my hand what caused me to stop all my movements but when I saw that she was still asleep I couldn't help and my endearment went on.

My eyes wandered gradually and unhurriedly along her despite closed still wonderful eyes, followed down her jutting out symmetrical formed cheekbones where I lingered on her soft, sensuous lips and stayed in this position. Something pulled me irrevocable to her and not able to do anything against it my body made its way to hers closing in as if they were destined to touch. On and on, bit by bit I lost myself in her lips, couldn't avert my eyes from her closed mouth like it would wait to be kissed by someone…kissed by me and with great pleasure I would like to be the one who accept this for sure desired task. What was it that made her that special so that she could cast such a spell on me I couldn't evade myself? But why was I asking me this question? I had the answer in front of my eyes, only inches parted our faces and I could see every detail of her unbelievable beauty, every delicate contour that made her just more attractive. Everything on this woman was flawless, her skin, her body, her face, the epitome of sophistication and I was so close.

My hand remained like before touching her skin while it was in her smooth hair, our lips almost touching that I could feel her breath on my skin which sent another shiver down my spine. I fought with myself, asked myself the question what I was just doing here. Never in my entire life, not as a doctor or in my private life have I met such a person that got so much in a mess but in such a sweet way, could bring out so many unknown emotions solely by looking at me with fawn eyes which radiated such a kindness I saw in nobodies eyes. Just as she tantalized me when she didn't noticed it deliberately the many times she looked at me but I felt it in in my whole body. The tingle, every time she saw up to me, every eye contact between us, the desire came over me to touch her, no matter if it would be just holding her hand or more. It was there, this urge, all the time.

And now I was here, touched her, felt the warmth of her body beneath me, had her unique face in front of me and I wanted it. I wanted to kiss her so desperately, wanted to find out the taste of her lips, experience how soft and smooth they really were. That was the only thought I had in my head I could hold at this moment in the otherwise empty brain. Everything else was irrelevant and banned to the abyss where it was non-existent for me, only she existed in the here and now.

"What are you doing with me?! I whispered, barely audible.

Right at the moment, shortly before I was on the verge of overcoming the last piece of the distance which was between us to succumb to my desire in the end, I startled, held my breath out of reflex and paused as the for a minute still soundly sleeping Bo was taking a deep breath and her mouth lightly parted, a sign that she was probably about to wake up every second which was supported by her stirring in the bed. I was like frozen, didn't dare to move an inch to prevent that Bo would finally wake up to catch me leaning over her. But I had to do it, she would wonder what I was doing her, so close to her face and my hand which was stiff as well in her brown mane. What just happened? I was brought back from my daze. Nothing from all of this should happen, wasn't allowed to happen. Nothing from this was allowed and when someone would find me, us in this inappropriate situation I would lose my job.

Very carefully I ordered my body which resisted to retreat to bring a normal and not intimidate gap between us. My hand released her hair, instantaneously missed the contact and I embedded it in the pocket of my lab coat where I clung it on the inside before it would do something I had no control of. With all my strength I pushed myself away, withstand the temptation to approach her once again.

It was lucky that I backed off in time because only a second later burst Kenzi into the room with a huge sack, not taking care that she caused an awful racked as the door swung open, hit the wall and then back where it slammed shut. What did she all bring here? First the bags this morning and now another and I was sure that she would wake up the sleeping person in the room. I was right. A little groan was to hear and shortly after I averted my gaze from the troublemaker I looked down to see that Bo slowly opened her eyes, and disappointed also annoyed expression was in them when she turned to the direction the loud noise was coming from. I could understand the annoyed look but why was she appearing so sad? Maybe because she wanted to sleep longer. I hoped so.

The person responsible of the entire commotion weighed the heavy looking piece in the middle of the room to let it fall demonstratively on the floor, positioned herself in front of it with a victory pose and looked up to us and smiled at her sister when she noticed that her sister was awake.

"Bobo you´re awake again." She detected. Bo rolled with her eyes.

"Yeah, there was a loud noise that woke me up so rudely from my wonderful dream." The brunette said sarcastically, a short glance darted to me during the last part of her sentence. I was sure my face was fully reddened because of the embarrassment my body was filled with. Has she sensed that I was touching her cheek? Oh god, it couldn't be much worse. Please let her believe that it was just a dream. I hoped fervently that she thought that it was only imagination when she was sleeping.

"Hey doc. Is there something new you wanna say us?" Kenzi inquired while she was approaching Bo´s gurney.

Relived by her question I turned to her, however felt Bo´s glance o me which triggered the tingle inside again, but I tried to do as if I wouldn't notice her eyes which were trekking up and down my body. In return it was so hard not to stare at her own God-given benefits which you couldn't fail to see. I thought back to the other person in the room who wanted an answer to an important question.

"I´m sorry, nothing new. I just stopped by to check whether all is fine before I would go home. There are some significant tests we will do in the next couple of days and you´ll be the first I inform about the results." I gave her to understand.

She black-haired sighed, "Alright. And I thought that I had missed some news. I will be informed about everything what is dealing with my besties health. I don't want to be shut out." Her tone was serious and in return I accommodated her with the same seriousness.

"I treat all my patients with the equal amount of attention and your sister is as important as any other patient. And of course you have the right to know everything what is going on. I won´t let you in the dark about the health of your family member. The one thing I can promise you, even when we are actually not allowed to give promises, I will inform you as fast as I have the outcome." Mentally I chided myself for repeating the same violation I did it about a day ago. Somehow I was unable to help it so that the words slipped out of my mouth. They both nodded together before Kenzi clapped her hands together what startled me.

"Okay.. then let´s stop with this sad topic, you only get wrinkles from all this heavy thinking." She suddenly changed the subject, "So Bobaliscious, I didn't know what you want to wear. Therefore I brought all your leather and sexy sexy outfits I could find and what wasn't spread out on the floor. Really woman you should clean your room. It looks as if a hippo made it´s siesta in there and I will not tidy up this mess so you get well again. Are we clear missy?" I was surprised how easy this fabulous woman could jump from serious to joking within no second.

"Challenge accepted mom." Bo joked along, "Thanks Kenzi, you´re the best." She reached for her little sister who closed the space between the two of them and they hugged each other.

I saw a smile on Bo´s lips, Kenzi was also pleased. Even when I only knew both for such a little time I was glad that I met them, they brought some more fun in my life although when we have met under these circumstances. No wanting to bother them any longer so that they could spend the remaining time with themselves until Kenzi had to leave as well and after I glimpsed on my pager which showed me like always reliable the time I saw that I was actually for too long in this room. Even if I would have like to stay by Bo, I also wanted to spend as much time as possible with my little daughter and that meant that I had to leave this room to make me on the way. A last look on the bright shining screens behind the bed which displayed no changes I made my goodbye for the night.

"I will go then. So far all is fine and within the days we run the outstanding tests." Again both nodded in comprehension, "Alright, have a nice night." I added and walked away from the bed, felt a hint of sadness because I had to leave.

"Thanks for stopping by Dr. Lewis. A good night and I see you tomorrow. I´m looking forward." Bo said smiling.

"Me too." I said honestly.

After I nodded a farewell to them I turned around and stepped out of the room, had to chuckle when I heard the to already having fun again by making jokes about the other. The bother were quite an amusing pair and you could see that they loved each other with for sure a lot of fun in their lives. At least I knew or had the feeling that Kenzi brought a lot pep in Bo´s life.

On the one hand sad, on the other relieved to go home I walked down the floor with rapid steps on the to get changed and to drive to Sam. Somehow while I was taking off the lab coat to hang it up on the coat hanger I had to think about the incident where I was almost about to kiss a patient…a patient. I couldn't comprehend how I had lost my control so easily and I committed nearly a huge foolishness. It was only luck that Bo began to stir and I managed it to someway stop moving forward to unite my lips with hers. Else Kenzi would have found me in a of course completely inappropriate moment. Under other cases it maybe would have been different, but this was just the reality and that meant, used slang expressions I had to keep my hands off her, even when I had the feeling that there was something between us. When we touched and I had this unbelievable feeling rushing through my body, at this moment I knew that there existed something I couldn't describe. We knew each other for no longer than one and a half days and still my body as my emotional life reacted so tempestuously to her that I was scared. I couldn't explain what was happening to me. God, I just wanted to give myself to this feeling, this longing my entire being was crying to be satisfied. I had to fathom what this was about, needed to know the reason why I as so, well I couldn't describe it any other way than consumed by the passion for this woman and why I possibly had already feelings for her who was actually a stranger to me. But she was a patient, that a fact and as long as this wouldn't change I had to force myself to remain aloof. I couldn't allow that something like that happened again. It would be hard I had to admit because there was no day I would not see her as long she stayed in the hospital. However I had to follow the rules.

I didn´t know what to make of it, was utterly absorbed in my thoughts that I barely noticed that I had changed my clothes, went through the corridors and had used the elevator. Everything done automatically, I lit the engine of my car and drove in the last wave of the rush hour back home, didn't notice how I shut off the car as always perfectly in the garage, so that I had enough space to exit in the otherwise very little room for the four-wheeled vehicle and thoughtfully put the key into the lock to my house. It was only thanks to the wonderful smell of food that climbed in my nose and it dawned on me gradually that I was finally home. The last half hour was so immersed in my thoughts of Bo that everything else around seemed to me like a veil. Even after my work I could not stop thinking about her. Of course I thought about my patients after work, made sure that I've also done everything right as I once again went through my visits mentally. However, in case of this particular patient, it wasn't the same. With her I wanted to learn more about her in addition to the reason for her abidance. I had the urge to know more about the brunette than her medical record, how she lived, what she did to earn her money, whether she had a family beside Kenzi or if she was perhaps in a relationship. I scolded myself mentally for having these thoughts at all, yet they appeared in my head. This woman made me mad, but in the most pleasant way.

I took off my jacket and followed the fabulous scent along the corridor, always getting stronger while noting that the last meal I've taken today to me consisted of an apple and a cup of coffee. Thus, it was no wonder that my stomach yearned for this delicious dinner, which would probably be waiting for me in the kitchen by telling me loudly that it needed food. Bent around the corner is I was now standing in the doorway of the kitchen and saw in front of me my little daughter with plates in her hand which she accurately placed on the counter with stools, everything aligned perfectly like I had shown it her. They probably haven´t heard that I´ve come home, because after she was done with the place setting, she surveyed her work critically, found that it was good and went on the way to help Mable at the last steps for our food who stood in front of the oven and took out the chicken. Mable was just a great woman, I was overjoyed when I found her despite the prejudice that I initially had when I was her ad in the newspaper. You never know what kind of lunatics are hiding behind supposedly nice pictures, but it was a pure stroke of luck and she got along right away with Sam. The older woman with shoulder-length smooth and slightly white hair which revealed that she was a former brunette and told me that she missed it having children around. Their own children and grandchildren are all grown up and she missed the romping of the Little and a friend put the idea with the newspaper advertisement in her head. As in her interview and now she was dressed classy, the pants with a straight crease with this color-coordinated silk blouse and of course her pearl necklace which gave her an understated elegance. Despite her proud age of seventy-one years you could guess that she was fifteen years younger. She was outstanding, a sensitive lady and was simply kind to everyone. She was like a second mother to me, valued her for her passion and dedication for my daughter very much. She was just the perfect Nanny and because she had so much fun with Sam and I was glad that my child was in good hands during my absence.

Not wanting to interfere the two by their cooperation, I stayed for a while on my spot and looked at them and how they had fun with the cooking, they were talking, laughing, were happy. But not being able to wait any longer, my hunger announced its presence again and I couldn't prevent the rumble which now was many times louder than it was a few minutes ago. Turning around for the sound I saw the sweetest little girl in the world and a perfectly aged lady beaming at me with joy so I guessed they were both happy about the arrival of the missing guest.

"Mommy, look what we did! Mable showed me how to make chicken and salad." Said my daughter proudly as she held a bowl with various vegetables in her small hands, came up to me after she had put it down. As always, when we hadn´t seen each other for so long we hugged each other for a while and I knew that everything was good, I had her in my arms and nothing had happened, what could have brought us apart. She was all that was left of my family and I will always be there for her.

After a kiss on her blonde hair I placed the lively bundle back on the floor which immediately got started with putting down the missing cutlery on the table while I went to Mable to welcome her with a hug. She carved the chicken when I squeezed her from the side, she paused briefly to give me a quick kiss on my cheek.

"Good evening darling. How was your day?" she asked politely just like a real lady and turned her attention back to her work to finish all with some last touches.

"Thank you. It was good. Not much but I had the time to talk with my patients more privately again." I answered.

"It´s for sure nice talking to your patients. I´m happy for you Lauren that you do what you love." Mable said as she finished her preparation. She was my mother very much alike. I missed her terribly. With a smile I had to sit down because my daughter dragged me to the chair when I wanted to help.

"You don't have to do anything mommy. We have everything under control. So you can relax." She ordered with her sweet voice.

"But you, Tamsin and Tamara have already done so much for me yesterday. Please let me help or I feel useless." I begged with a pouty lip. I could do this trick as well.

"Fine. You can get the glasses. I can´t reach them." My daughter gave in and I hopped with a laugh from the seat to walk to the wall-cupboard where I fetched two wine glasses for Mable and I, the bottle of the always delectable red wine was already standing uncorked on the table, for Sam I took a usual one she could fill with water or something else. Everything was normal, I came home to have a nice dinner with my bubbly little daughter and a by now really good friend. It was wonderful.

When everything was finally finished, looked deliciously by giving off steam and standing in front of us, my mouth was watering. The two surpassed themselves with this wonderful meal. Sam had conjured up a great salad and Mable a terrific chicken with a perfect decoration for it. Placed on our seats with Sam between us we began to eat, I had already to sigh at the first bite because it was just so good. The two laughed, but were pleased that I relished it so much and for the rest of the evening we enjoyed the friendly atmosphere, talked about Sam's day, what Mable had seen all during her bridge-round and of course my curious daughter wanted to know what I had for operations today. I smiled and told her about my day in the hospital, but avoided it to tell her about Bo and our or rather my incident that came in my mind again while we were talking. But for now I tried not to think about it, continued with the broken leg of a football player, what the inquisitive child next to me fascinated. Later I would have the time to recap the whole situation mentally.

Savoring the last bites of the perfectly seasoned chicken and of course the tasty salad made by my daughter we cleaned the dishes, this time I was allowed to help and after everything was done Sam and I said goodbye to Mable who was picked up by her husband to spend the remaining time of the evening with him. After that we went to the living room to relax with a movie Sam decided we would watch. Because I knew that my daughter wouldn't last long before she would fall asleep I asked her to brush her teeth while I was fetching the DVD from the shelf and also went to the bathroom. Ten minutes later she came back dressed in her sleeping clothes ready to see the Little Mermaid swimming in the ocean with her fishy friends. We have seen this movie already about ten times but I didn't complain, it was a cute film. So crashed on the couch with the cuddle monster in my arms and the blanket covered our bodies I grabbed the remote that started the movie, heard my daughter squeal in anticipation the moment the Disney melody rang out.

With her tiny body pressed against mine and her head rested on my upper arm we looked at the big screen, saw the little crab Sebastian Sam loved so much and we just enjoyed the time together. Half way done with the movie I sensed that the little blonde began to fall asleep and saw that she desperately tried to keep her eyes open which were already almost closed. It was so cute how she fought against the fast coming fatigue. However also feeling the sleepiness in my bones I closed my eyes as well not wanting to wake her up so roughly. Actually I wanted to rest just for a couple of minutes before we really had to go upstairs , but before realizing it I drifted off into a deep sleep warmed by the heat of my daughter´s body and we both did the same we have done so often before. We enjoyed our closeness and with each other in the arms nothing could happen.

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**I know this story is very family orientated, with the time there will be more BoLo interaction. But this story is about Bo´s health as well and what Lauren can do or maybe not. I can reveal that it will be really tough for Bo and Kenzi as her family. And for Lauren it will be hard, too who besides that has a rocky past which will be revealed later and of course the not so easy journey our couple has to go through until they find their happiness will be the central theme. To answer a question from the reviews: everybody in this story is human, nothing supernatural. I have to admit that I have a story in mind where I will continue the original story of Lost Girl, but not before these two are finished. I hope so far you like where I want to go with it and my ideas. I really love it to write something for you and the response you give me is unbelievable, so a BIG THANK YOU! to everyone be it a guest or other writers. I wish you all a great time.**

**I want to know what you think, so write a short or long review and maybe try to tell me what you think will happen in the upcoming chapters...I´m excited!**

**To be continued...**


	4. chapter: The worst the best

**Well, it´s late and I´m tired, but I managed it to finsih this chapter to give it to you earlier. I hope you´ll like it.**

**All mistakes are mine.**

**Enjoy the chapter...**

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**.**

The hospital bundled me predawn out of the bed after a heavy car accident happened around 4 in the morning and they couldn't handle all the involved thereby injured people. While I was hastily searching for clothes I thought about calling Tamsin who I knew was surely solving important cases this night and probably done with her work, now on her way home. But first I had to find my phone. Stumbling down the stairs as quiet as possible I pulled on a shirt always looking around to find the hidden, black and silver phone on my way to the kitchen. I definitely needed a coffee after I managed it somehow to conceive my sleepy daughter to come up with me at 2 o´clock, the time when I woke up because my back was no longer willing to lay on the, maybe for one or two hours comfortable couch, but for a longer time it wasn't good for both, Sam´s and my bones. So a little stiff I put the kettle on, fetched the instant coffee from the cabinet to spoon the black powder in a cup for my way to the clinic. In the meantime, as the water slowly began to seethe, I rush to the living room we had left in a chaos not in the mood to clean it as our bodies preferred it to climb into the comfortable beds to rest better. Throwing the blankets and pillows aside I still couldn't see what I desperately needed, my head was spinning around and I was pacing up a down the ways I went along yesterday.

Concentrating I stopped in the hallway, took a deep breath and remembered what I had done the day before. I came home, watched my daughter and her nanny preparing the meal after I had set aside my handbag and took off my jacket. We had dinner to cleanse it subsequently and saw off Mable, that´s it. No, I must have forgotten something. On a normal day my phone would be in my bag, couldn't find it in there after I rummaged in it for two minutes. But then it dawned me, Sam played with it, shortly before Mable left us and she laid it aside…in my pocket…right she laid it in my jacket pocket. Brain, you still work.

I hurried to the entrance area of our house where my jacket was hanging on the hallstand and found it, safely tucked in the right pocket. Off the top of my head I dialed the number of my blonde friend who answered after the second ringing.

"What´s up Lo. Is everything okay." She asked, her voice sounded tired yet a hint of concern was to hear for the simple reason that I never called her at such an early time.

"Yes everything is fine. But could you come around. The hospital called me and I have to be there quickly though I can´t let Sam alone." I gave her the facts for my call.

"The car accident?" Tamsin wanted to know.

"Yes. Were you there?"

"Mmh. It was really bad. However, it´s no problem. I was on my way home anyway. I´ll be there in five." My friend assured me.

"Thanks Tam."

"I´ll be right with you." She hang up letting me only hear the monotone beep in the phone line.

Relieved that I had someone who looked after Sam I went back to the kitchen where the water was ready to be filled in the dedicated vessel. I wasn't greeted with the best smell but it would keep myself awake for the next hour or two within I would for sure I have to work a lot.

When I was ready to hit the road, shortly after I had checked that my daughter was still sleeping soundly proving me that I was quiet enough, I stood at the door waiting for Tamsin who came in time, exactly after we ended the call five minutes ago. She was the best friend I could have besides Tamara of course who would for sure have come as well when my first thought wouldn't have been of the person I knew for so many years. She looked tired as she shuffled to me, nevertheless a smile became evident the moment she raised her head and found my eyes. Tamsin always looked great, unsurprisingly as she had a model and designer as girlfriend, but yet she had her own casual, stylish appearance and the women were envious of her about that fact.

"Morning." I welcomed her with a kiss on the cheek as she has finally reached me with my handbag on my shoulder.

"It´s indeed a very early morning." She said amused, eyes hooded and a worn out sounding voice. The sun only began to rise and just a few birds chirped to proclaim the new day.

"I´m sorry for calling you, but you were the first one who came to my mind." I apologized, felt guilty for curtailing her of her deserved and needful sleep, however she just shrugged not attaching value that I wanted to speak verbosely.

"It´s really not a problem." She assured me and walked past me heading inside, "The little one is still asleep?"

I nodded, "Yep. She´s dead to the world. She should wake up around 7 yet you know that she likes it when I do it as well. The rest she can do alone, though. The cereals are in the cabinet, milk and juice in the fridge, croissants…" She grabbed me by the shoulders forcing me to look at her what I readily did. It surprised me how easily it was for her to pacify me with only one short glimpse in her blue and green shining eyes with these little specks in which Tamara fell in love like she told me some weeks after the two made their relationship official. Now when I saw this glow again, I somewhat slackened as I took a deep breath.

"Relax Lauren. Everything is under control. I live here effectively therefore I know where everything is tucked away. I bring her to school and Tamara will pick her up later so there is no need to worry. Aunt Tamsin will ensure that it´s business as usual." She snickered and pushed me to my car, "Now go and save lives!"

"Thank you." I gave her a genuine and grateful smile.

"Go!" She said louder emphatically.

Viewing how she entered my house I scurried to the car I unlocked with the sensor in my electronic key, settled myself behind the wheel and moved away from Sam and her temporary nanny. On the shortest route to the hospital I adapted myself to the rush that would awaited me in a few minutes with blood, broken bones, internal injuries and several other things I would be confronted with. Within the next time I could show what I had learned from the best and I would do everything in my power to save every single patient that was under my aid.

**.**

And I guessed right. As I set my foot in the emergency room around 5, already switched in my work clothing I was flooded with bloodcurdling screams of agony, saw the nurses yelling orders and rushing from one patient to the next to medicate the deepest lacerations, bleeding briskly head wounds without showing signs that they were tired as I noticed which nurses were running around.

For the next ten hours I tried to save as many people as I could, were in the OR most of the day with my hands in several bodies to stop bleedings what meant that I had to find the cause for this dark red stream. Nevertheless sometimes were the injuries too fatal that there wasn't anything we could have done since the anatomy of the human body wasn't made for such an amount of blood loss, the heart stopped bumping it through the veins and the vital organs failed after the collapse of the system. Every single time it was crushing at the moment you have lost another life on your operating table even when you knew that you did all that is humanly possible. Even when I didn't know who this person was that lay with eyes closed, pale face and the last warmth slowly fading away. Out there in the waiting room were the families, mother, father, a loving wife, a hard working husband who tried to give his son a good life, that was the downside of my job. I was the one who had to adduce them that the dad wouldn't come anymore, the sister could no longer go out with the cutest boy in school or that the mother wasn't up to read their children a bedtime story. I was doing this job for so long, but nevertheless I wasn't getting less hard when I had to tell that a friend or family member deceased. I knew for sure how they felt in this situation, had to undergo this sorrow too often and it almost broke my heart to see the little kids crying for the deprivation of their beloved. The dead was an important part of my life though I fought against it with all I had. Deep inside I knew that whenever I would have the feeling of being jaded, not sensible for anybody's wants, that would be the point as sign that I wasn't a good doctor any longer.

As résumé after this both physically and mentally exhausting day we had to register more saved lives the dead ones which was more than good after we saw in the news how bad the accident in fact was. But luckily the supply chain was organized very well to facilitate our work after the first aid locally. So once I finished the last operation, the patient gladly pulled through, my own body needed some care for itself in terms of some food, preferred something with carbohydrates to ginger up my cycle for the last two hours of my regular shift. With this end in mind I headed to the canteen where I would get something for my hunger at all times of the day and Gloria, the head chef in this kitchen was always friendly.

"Hello Dr. Lewis." The fifty-four years old mother of two grown daughters greeted me while my gaze was traveling around the various offers behind the pane.

"It´s nice to see you Gloria. What do you suggest? I´m really hungry." I replied, felt my mood rise just with a nice talk.

"Well, in my mind I would choose the Indian chicken with rice, the salad thereto is more than fresh, scarcely refilled and the chocolate mousse if you want to munch." She pointed at the scrumptious looking dishes as she spoke and my mouth was watering at this sight.

"That sounds perfect. I take it."

She nodded to give me my tray with the steaming meal not a minute later neatly served and I gave her the money before I searched for a table at the large windows where the afternoon sun was shining through. With the plates in front of me I took the cutlery in my hands and began to eat, had to sigh at the first bite came in touch with my taste buds, once more proved to be true that this canteen was not for nothing one of the best.

While I was eating, actually far to fast than it was polite though it just tasted so good and I would need the caught up time for at least one round where I could visit my in-patients, I looked out of the window and stared into the distance with a light blue sky with odd clouds. It was a wonderful view.

"Can I keep you company?" The soft voice of my favorite patient caused my head turn around to see a stunning Bo staying next to my table.

"Of course. Please take a seat!" I motioned to the seat opposite me after I swallowed down the last fork with chicken.

An unavoidable smile sneaked in my face after I saw a short twinkle in her eyes and these so kissable dimples right and left from her luscious lips. A short moment of pleasant silence fell between us as we just looked each other in the eyes, savoring this moment of complete consonance before she kept on talking.

"So Dr. Lewis, I haven't seen you all the day. After missing you badly for about 2 hours a nurse informed me that there was car crash in the early morning. So I guessed that you were saving lives instead of looking in on me." There was something seductive in her tone.

I held my breath as I heard that she missed me badly. Was it just small talk or did she mean what she has said? I probably shouldn't overthink that too much knowing or rather seeing what an attractive woman Bo was with all her advantages which weren't able to avoid, she surely had lots of admirers, gallants and more so that she must be used to flirting around with the persons she met…or?

"Yes, I had a lot to do the last couple of hours, but would definitely have paid a visit to one of my favorite patients nonetheless." I countered with the same flirtatious hint in my voice though I was surprised by my sudden boldness, but I liked it.

A lopsided grin crept on her lips telling me that I supposed right with the light innuendo of stomach for me. Even to think that she could be interested in me let me feel the long forgotten tingle in my gut and it was an amazing feeling to be coveted by an utterly remarkable woman who threw me off the track with just one look in her brown shimmering eyes.

"So then I will see you any time soon?" the beautiful brunette asked me, her voice still sounding so sultry.

"Definitely." I replied immediately, somehow now breathing deeply and I already looked forward to the next time we would meet again.

"It´s better when I go now. I slinked away after mom Kenz fell asleep and I don't want to be grounded." She quipped, after all I wanted her to stay a little longer just to hear her mellifluous voice that dominated my dreams combined with her dazzling appearance.

"I´ll wait for you in my room. Hope you´ll be there presently." She added after she got up then moved towards the big translucent door with the green sign above.

I couldn't stop my eyes that traveled down her back which was clad with a black tightly fitting top until I reached her shapely, also well trained ass she gave an extra sway what she for sure did on purpose and I didn't mind at all as I saw how it emphasized her curvaceous outlines. I didn't know how much longer I could withstand her sensory stimuli, now that I knew, desperately hoped that she showed interest in me du to the fact that she spun her head around shortly before she would have went around the corner thus caught me staring at her backside. Totally embarrassed I felt my cheeks color, instantaneously looked up at her to see an crooked and mischievously smile, also a predatory flash in her eyes that melted me inside. I no longer wanted the food in front of me, I was jonesing for something complete different and according to the fire I saw in her vivid gaze I knew she must feel the same arch in the lower part of her body, the same pulling I ever had when I was near her and that got more intense the closer she came. But even with her brown eyes she set me on fire and a side I didn't know I had surfaced and began to flirt with her outright.

And again I copped myself being unprofessional like never before, was thankful as Bo finally left the large room to leave me alone with a throbbing spot I tried to ease with wriggling nervously on my chair. I put an elbow on the table and laid my forehead in my hand wondering what I was actually doing here. I was supposed to help her with my medical knowledge, but the only thing I could think about was how I could get into her panties and free her from this annoying and so tight clothes she was wearing all the time. The only thing I hoped was that nobody saw the crackle between and if they did, I would have major problems as I knew what would happen if I would have a relationship or something along these lines with a patient. I sighed. It was all so difficult.

**.**

After I was done with my late lunch I went back to the emergency room checking that my help wasn't needed anymore since the most patients were adequately supplied. The nurses and other doctors assured me that I they had everything in hand, yet I undertake some cuts and stitched up the minor injuries. An hour later I could go up to my ward to eventually look after the people took care of needed my support as well but weren't in desperate straits than the ones downstairs.

And now I was standing in front of her room again, shivered a bit in anticipation and grabbed the handle of the white door that led me to the brunette goddess behind. I didn't know what to expect, but relaxed as I didn't see her after I stepped in the single room. She was in the bathroom because I heard how the water of the little shower in it was turned off, so I walked through the room to look outside the window and waited for Bo to come out so that I could examine that her vitals were still the same what would be more than good.

More than ten minutes passed and I began to worry that she accidently slipped on the floor thus knocked her head on an edge to lay now helpless on the cold white tiles bleeding which was one of the numerous scenarios that were twirling in my head. Striding fast to the small tiled room I was about to knock as the door swung open and a surprised Bo looked at me with wide eyes. No one moved, my hand was still formed to a fist hovering in the air and I couldn't breathe as I saw this beautiful woman in front of me and so close. Her eyes got smaller to a normal size yet never losing the darker color they had the moment she recognized who was standing only several inches away from her face and body. I could smell her shampoo that filled my nose and I inhaled the coconut scent that encased me in a haze of lust and fervor. The damp hair that was hang down her shoulder wetting her top she wore and you could see her nipples, probably hardened from the colder breeze in the room. What a sight!

My eyes wandered from hers down to her lips which were still closed, highly coveted and ready to be captured by my own. At this moment I forgot everything, where I was, who I was and who she was. I only wanted to feel her body pressed against mine in the most passionate way, needed her hands all over me and her tongue on my skin tracing down until she would find the right spot where I wanted her since the second she looked me in the eyes. Only this woman aroused this desire in me and I finally wanted to dedicate myself to her no matter what would happen after that. I fought against it for too long.

Before I knew what my arms were doing and because she was about to say something as she opened her mouth slightly, I lunged forward. My hand that was not a moment ago in the air grasped her neck and I pulled her forcefully against me. I brought our mouths together in a frantic kiss, at first my tongue was begging for access by caressing her lower lips, but she granted my pleading very quickly so our tongues met and began a passionate dance about dominance, our lips melted together to be one. We both moaned into the others mouth as the sensation and arousal increased with every second we didn't stop our sweet fight and I led us to the next wall where I pressed her against it, my body immediately closed the gap between us. Another throaty groan escaped my lung as I felt her breasts against mine and sighed heavily when one of her hands found its way on my waist carking it while the fingers of her other one threaded into my hair to deepen this mind-blowing kiss we shared by tugging me impossibly closer into her. Her full lips were softer than I had imagined, overwhelming like nothing else I could think of and once again I was surprised that this utterly gorgeous woman wanted me in the same way like I craved her.

I had no idea what I was doing, but I never wanted it to stop due to the fact that I have never felt something so intensive, wonderful and unique in my entire life. Blocking all the rules out against I impinged with my rampant actions I let myself fall for the brunette woman in my arms not caring what I was doing or what consequences all this could bring along. Right now I needed her and judging by her response she didn't mind at all. The hand that wasn't on her neck curved around her waist to clutch the hem of her black clothing and I dragged it just a little up so that my fingers could feel the heat of her skin and this electrical wave of pleasure rushed right to my core again. She writhed under my touch and the noises, heavy moans and deep breaths in the room were getting louder what I paid no attention as I was lost in our embrace and the more than intimate affection we showed each other.

But we eventually had to part as the need for air won the battle though I never wanted to miss this feeling of her luscious lips on mine and the carnal desire that grew between us within the last couple of minutes. So we broke the kiss reluctantly, panting heavily and left unreleased with a throbbing deep inside my core. I dropped my head, supported myself on the wall Bo had rested her head on by placing my flat hands on the cold surface right beside her hair. She however let her hands on their places holding me close against her body and massaged my scalp with her slender finger I was sure she could do much more with.

"Oh god!" I exhaled shakily as the real world hit me like a rock and I realized what I had actually done. One minute I was the composed, always overthinking doctor, but when I was in a room with her I didn't know what I was doing. All my restraint was no longer existent when I felt her aroused and trembling breath on my lips what sent all my objections in a locked room not important for me anymore.

"I second that! Wow.. I.. Phew.." she answered with a husky voice.

I didn't have the courage to raise my gaze to look at the woman I had attacked with my lips and body so bluntly with no control, however I couldn't bring myself to move away from her, firstly because I didn't trust my legs which would probably buckle when I would put my hands away from their crutch and secondly, I didn't want to leave her embrace. It felt so right, I felt secure giving me a chance to relax and I made use of this warm and caring feeling I didn't have in such a long time. I missed it to be hugged, missed this feeling of being important for someone I had so strong feelings for. Of course I had all this with Sam who I loved with all my heart, I needed to be loved by a grownup nevertheless too. And now I was here in the arms of a stunning woman who desired me as the person I was, as the doctor not giving a shit that we were in a hospital and she was a patient with a potential cardiac anomaly. At that instant we were just two woman who showed the attraction they had for each other in a loving version.

I couldn't deny that I had feelings for her, intensive and honest feelings I had for no one else than for her even when I actually knew her for the brief span of three days. She was different, could raise a side of me to the surface only a few people knew I had. But what she was able to do, to create was more than my human understanding could understand.

We stayed like this for an unknown while, my mind was gauging what to do next and the only conclusion I could form was, as banal as it sounded, I had to apologize. So with all my strength I could muster up I pushed myself away from the wall and her, took a step back, however immediately missed her hands in my hair and around my waist and looked her in the eyes where I could see the same desire as well as arousal I was trying to control hopelessly. Another swell of aspiration mushroomed inside my body as I saw how she looked at me, with the equal intense flaming eyes I knew I had as well when we eyed each other. I forced myself to take one more step backwards having the fear that I would grab her a second time, but for certain this time not only to kiss her. All the time she remained on her spot, with the back against the wall and said nothing, possibly not knowing what to say, like I did. She just looked at me waiting for one of us to begin.

But now, with a proper distance between us I took a deep breath, continued holding her gaze I thought about the words I needed to say, had to or else this situation would get more and more complicated, however I knew that I already was in deep trouble by doing such an inappropriate move.

I launched into my apology, "I.." but I didn't come any further as all of a sudden the door to Bo´s room was ripped open causing us to flinch as we were not prepared for this unexpected visit.

In the threshold was standing Natalie who came around noon to support the other nurses by the last patients from the accident. Something in her eyes worried me as I saw that she was winded and hadn't the sincere smile on her lips she normally greeted me with. Something important must have happened that she ran through the corridors to tell me that something was going on otherwise she would use the pager, but she never hastened with such an urgency.

"What´s wrong Natalie? What happened?" I asked putting my own situation which was standing in form of Bo to the right of Natalie into cold storage and focused on the young nurse who wanted to tell me something.

"It´s Sam." She uttered as she straightened herself.

I was taken aback. Something has happened to my daughter? Without thinking too much I rushed to Natalie and grasped her by her shoulders instantaneously awaiting an explanation. My heart leapt to my throat.

"What? What´s with Sam?" I asked her full of fear for the only person I needed more than anything in my life.

"An ambulance brings her to us in the hospital. It´s an emergency!"

**.**

**So this is my first cliffhanger in this story, hope it´s not too bad. I don´t know when I will have the time to continue this story, I´ll try.**

**Let me know what your thoughts are and maybe you could guess what will happen with little Sam. I know it already ;)**

**To be continue...**


	5. chapter: Waiting for an answer

**So folks, slowly but surely the story starts rolling. I will see when I have the time to write the next chapter; life´s busy, so the updates will take longer. **

**Another thing: I read all your reviews and wanted to say at the beginning that I never had the intention to kill a child, that´s just not right. Of course it´s hard to see a child suffer or worse and I knew how hard it is to lose a person you love. With that I wanted to give you a little defusing before you start to read. **

**This time the chapter is a short one, but I didn´t want to let you wait too long. I hope you like it.**

**Enjoy...**

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.

Faster! Faster! I had to run faster. My mind went black, I couldn't mold a coherent sentence that even begins to compare with the pain that seized my entire body. If I wouldn't run for my life I for certain would breakdown. But I didn't. All my fear was directed at my little daughter who came to me, to the hospital. I didn't even ask Natalie what happened as I bolted out of the room and chased down the corridors to the emergency room where the paramedics would bring Sam. Was it an accident? Did she fall down from something and hit her head? I didn't want to conceive what would happen when I would see her bleeding or worse.

I quickened my pace if it was even possible as I noticed that I never ran that fast in my entire life and my lungs burned like hell though I didn't care. I had to reach the ground-floor as quickly as might be to be there for my daughter and treat her. I was single-minded, took two steps at a time down the stairs since I knew that the elevator was too slow to bring me down. I breathed erratically as I opened the swinging doors to come just in time as I saw Tamara with puffy red eyes jogging beside a gurney with my pale daughter laying on it and two young men giving the nearest doctor the facts. My heart stopped for a second because of the most horrific sight I ever had to witness and I couldn't suppress the tears that were welling up in the corner of my eye and were about to stream down. Tamara saw me coming and gave me an apologetic yet rueful look. I had to know what has happened?

"Dr. Miller, what happened?" I asked desperately when I saw Sam´s face contorted with pain. The pediatrician who was a good friend of mine had the clipboard in the hand checking the information on the papers then looked up at me with a concerned expression. She knew the little person on the bed who had cold sweat on her forehead and convulsed. I couldn't stand the sight of my daughter who must have blinding agony.

"It´s a cecal perforation. We´ll bring her to the next OR now." The 45 year old woman said affected.

That wasn't good. That wasn't good at all. When her appendix was ruptured… it was life-threatening. My tears were cascading now uncontrollably stinging my eyes and making it hard to see something. I quickly wiped them away and leaned down to my still ashen-faced daughter who had opened her not so shining blue eyes to find mine after they wandered around hectically, was probably scared by the unfamiliar surrounding.

"Hey baby. Mommy is here. I´m here." I choked out caressing her cheek with my thumb. She smiled at me weakly.

"Mo…mommy. It hurts.." she wept bitterly. I whished I could take over this pain for her.

"I know honey. But everything will be fine. You will sleep for a while and then you´re belly won´t hurt anymore. Soon you can jump around again and I will buy you the heavy book you wanted so much. How does it sound sweetie?" I squeezed her limp hand. I had to be strong for her despite my growing fears to lose her. This time her smile was a little brighter and she closed her eyes once again as we were in front of the OR where everything was already prepared.

"I love you mommy." She whispered before the nurse brought her inside to sedate her and she drifted off to sleep a little later.

"I love you too." With a last kiss on her forehead I saw doctor Miller approaching the middle of the room where Sam was now sleeping . She had her face shield on, the thin gloves ready to save my daughter´s life.

"Lauren, you have to leave now." She requested politely yet with determination when she saw me standing at the door unequal to move away to let my daughter alone and surrounded by strangers. I faced her, staring her in the eyes with a for sure begging expression.

"Please, Felicity! I can´t lose her too. Please!" I implored the only doctor from which I knew that she was able to carry out this operation.

"We will do everything in our power." She assured me like she has said it to so many others and I left to give them the room to operate so that I could enfold my daughter in my arms again in a couple of hours.

I knew that I wasn't allowed to stay there and watch the whole scene since I was a relative I had to stay in the family waiting room like a normal person. Now the roles were switched and I was the one who had to stay away. Another nurse I knew as well ushered me carefully into the room were thankfully nobody else were bating a still crying Tamara who sat on a chair covering her face with her hands. I noticed that the first boost of adrenaline began to fade away and slowly but surely my legs turned to jelly. So I thanked the nurse for helping me to stand on my feet and I took the last few steps on my own towards my devastated friend. Tamara hasn't perceived me yet so that I startled her when I sat down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. Her head shot up to let me see that her makeup was completely ruined, all blurred to leave a still beautiful but worn out woman behind. The moment she realized who stroked up and down her back, she began to cry again and she pulled me in a crushing hug burying her face in my shoulder. Knowing that it wasn't her fault that Sam was in this condition I sensed that she blamed herself for how the things have turned out. Actually I was supposed to be held in the arms, I however knew how to deal with the situation even when I tried to keep the rest of my emotions in check to be strong for my child and for the woman who cried heavily in my chest.

"My bad! I´m so sorry Lauren." Tamara whimpered in my lab coat clinging to it. I choked down the lump in my throat and continued to rub her back.

"Sshh.. It´s alright. Nothing is your fault. You couldn´t have known what would happen. No one fathers Sam´s state on you." I attempted to soothe her with my words and somehow she didn't shed tears anymore.

"I should have called you as she didn't feel well and held her stomach. I should have checked her temperature when she looked pale and went to bed so early. I should have…called you before it was too late…" Her voice faltered, "I´m sorry. I´m a terrible friend and aunt. I´m so sorry." She continued her clutch of whispered apologies till the exhaustion overpowered her half an hour after Sam was taken to hospital. All the time I had threaded my hand in her hair as she laid her upper body on my lap and I absentmindedly ran my hand along her chocolate-colored tresses because I could only think of the tiny sleeping body no 100 meters away from me who were fighting for her life. I immediately put the mere idea in the darkest and deepest part of my brain not standing the association of my daughter…her cold body… on a bier… No! She would survive! She had to survive! She was all I had.

I was more than glad as I saw Tamsin rushing to us with the same worried expression her girlfriend had as she came to the hospital. She wore denim slacks and a sweater like she was always dressed when she was at home and had nothing else to do than zapping through the various sport channels. She knelt and looked me in the eyes maybe trying to find out whether I was fine or as broken as the worn-out sleeping woman on my legs.

"I came as quickly as possible. Tam called me crying to tell me that she would bring Sam to the hospital. But she didn't say anything else. What happened?" she asked as her hand superseded mine and she continued stroking Tamara´s hair albeit she still faced me.

I took a deep breath, "She had a ruptured appendix. Well, actually her vermiform appendix was inflamed and it came to a perforation in the abdominal cavity." I informed her as good as possible.

"How bad is it?" The anxiety was written all over her face.

"Really bad." I confessed with a shaky voice, "We can only hope that the content of her intestine didn't empty or else.." she raised her hand to bring me to halt.

"Let´s not hope the worst. She will make it. Our little bug is a tough one. She will kick this futile thing in the ass and after that we will throw a party where she can show her friends her new cool scar. Okay? Don't worry!" And again she lightened the mood, just a little but it was better than nothing. But I couldn't think of anything else than my daughter.

I sighed "Okay." And looked down to Tamara, "She´s really exhausted. It´s better when you bring her home now where she can rest. She already believes that it´s her fault what happened with Sam. You should take care of her." I submitted.

"But who will take care of you? You shouldn't be alone right now." she said holding my gaze.

"I´m fine. Really. I have to stay here and wait for the news. It will take a long time before they can say something about her state." I argued honestly and saw that she eventually relented.

"But you call me when something happens and I´ll come back as soon as possible." she demanded.

"Of course." I asserted and let Tamsin lift her girlfriend in her strong arms who made no move to wake up. Signaling the other nurses that nothing was wrong with the carried woman Tamsin left the hospital to bring Tamara home while I remained on my slightly uncomfortable seat to wait for any information somebody would give me.

Only now after I had nothing else I could pay my attention to, I had to stand up and walked up and down the empty room that was isolated from the emergency room and operating theaters to give the families and friends which were here some place to calm themselves down what they for certain couldn't do what I experienced firsthand. And now since my hands had nothing to cling on to my mind traveled back to the room that was filled with doctors and nurses as well as high-tech machines with the aim to rescue another human life. I desperately tried to fix my thoughts on another theme, anything just to distract me from the critical condition my daughter was in. But as hard as I tried nothing could sweep away my fears and inevitably I saw her before my eyes. Automatically I remembered our last moment together on the couch and how I raised her little body to bring her in her room where I covered her with the blanket my mother had crocheted for Julia´s and my nights together as we laid under the spangled sky pointing out as many celestial constellations as possible we found in a book. I did the equal with Sam when the nights weren't too cold and we could lay on the lounger on my balcony huddled up against the other looking up in the sky enjoying these hours together. At the same moment I recalled her kind, strong and open-minded nature with which she captured my heart the second I laid my eyes on her as I was in the hospital holding her for the first time and was so proud to call myself aunt of this perfect new human being. I couldn't imagine my life without her by my side, would never survive without her life-affirming mindset and cheerful laugh she could lift everybody´s spirit with. I wanted to see her growing up, become acquainted with her first boyfriend, would visit all her performances as she discovered her love for the piano and practiced every day because I could see that she had so much fun when she learned a new musical piece. I wanted to have a row with her and get along with her like a real family since she was the last person of my real family. She was supposed to outlive me, should visit me when she would have a family on her own to look in on me and show me her own children I would love with everything I had. I couldn't live without her.

Without permission the tears arose once again and this time I had nothing I could do to pretend that I was brave or had everything under control. There was no one I could help with my knowledge as I was raddled and had no longer the strength to stand on my feet. So my legs capitulated and collapsed like a house of cards letting me fall on the floor. But before I would have hit the floor I felt how two strong arms draped themselves around my waist preventing my body from a dull impact on the cheap PVC floor coating and I was supported to the next seat were I was sat down carefully. My head was too heavy so I couldn't look up at the person who was so alert to see in what a bad shape I was. Now I guessed was the last bit of the adrenaline my body had produced no longer in my bloodstream and that caused my heart beat to slow down, my eyes became hooded and I sank against the soft chest, I believed it was the one of a woman. I however couldn't form a clear mind and fell asleep in the arms of a stranger, at least I thought it was a stranger.

**.**

I heard a calm and familiar voice from far away calling my name to bring me back from the deep sleep I was caught in and I felt a warm hand massaging my head. I gradually opened my eyes just to be blended by the neon lights on the ceiling that did indeed nothing for a comfortable atmosphere in this room. I would broach this issue some day. I would mention this horrible chairs the people had to sit on and wait for hours since my sore back made itself felt. So I straightened myself from the softer spot my head has rested on and rubbed my still half closed eyes in order that they could become attuned to the dazzling light. A little dazed I let my gaze wander around trying to recapitulate the last events.

The moment my brain had processed all the fuzzy pictures in my head, my eyes widened and I had to accept that it wasn't a nightmare I thought I had while I was my subconscious tried to put my anguishes into oblivion to repress the memories of Sam on the gurney. No, it wasn't a dream. I was here sitting in this cold and grey room waiting for my daughter who was fighting for her life. And what did I? Because for a lack of anything better to do I was asleep for an unknown time and I hadn't done anything useful. I didn't think straight as I shot up all of a sudden and my wobbly knees betrayed me again as I threatened to fall yet again, fortunately I was steadied by the same pair of arms as before. This time I was able to turn to the person who kept me out of harm´s way at least twice today and I was shocked yet glad when I saw who it was.

"Bo?" I croaked out, my voice was coarse from all the crying.

She smiled at me sincerely even when I could see that something saddened her. In her embrace I relaxed instantaneously and she brought us back to the seats placing me on it, she right next to me not losing her hold of me. Out of reflex and because it felt so good I leaned into her touch just for a second forgetting all my worries and fears that encompassed me with it´s terrible scenarios.

"Dr. Lewis, is everything okay? I found you just before you were about to collapse. So I stayed here with you for quite a while. I was worried about you." Her sonorous voice reached my heart, warmed it and I felt how my strength came back increasing the power of my muscles, the fogginess in my head disappeared and was replaced by a clear mind.

"I´m sorry. How long was I out cold?" I really wanted to remain in her attentive hug never leaving this wonderful feeling, but I reminded myself of the situation I was in.

"I don't know. I just held you in my arms until you woke up again. Did something bad happen?" she asked softly, her vigilant eyes never focused on something else than mine.

"I…" I wanted to tell her the truth, "It´s my daughter. She´s here in the next OR because of an emergency. I´m waiting for her." My voice began to quaver.

"Oh.. I´m sorry." She held me tight.

All the different emotions overwhelmed me and came crushing down floating me all at once. I wanted to be held by Bo and forget everything that happened but I couldn't. I was trapped in a vortex of sorrow, protection and fear alternating in an unknown sequence to stagger me when I didn't expect it. I didn't know what to do? On the one hand my preoccupation was my almost 7 years old daughter who needed me, and I needed her, however, at the same time there was Bo, beautiful, charming, funny and she wanted me in a way I never thought to relive in this life again. How was I supposed to act around this woman I kissed right before all this mess happened. I eyed her and saw all the affection in her brown orbs, the same appetence I felt when I thought of her.

I took a deep breath, "Bo, about the kiss.." Her hand on my cheek made me stop. I leaned against her tender skin that had a calming effect on me.

"Not now. We can talk about it when all has settled down and your daughter is fine. Nothing else matters right now Dr. Lewis." She said showing me another wonderful side of this incredible woman and I silently thanked her for this offer.

"You should call me Lauren. After I slept in your lap and drooled on your clothes I think it´s appropriate." I said as I reluctantly loosened myself out of her embrace instantaneously missing the warmth of her body that enveloped me in a safe and isolated bubble in which no one could hurt me. But I had to go. I didn't know how long I was asleep and the anxiety as well as the overwhelming fear to lose my daughter came back to hit me right into my face as I got up from my seat.

I looked around trying to find a nurse or someone else from the staff that could establish clarity about the state Sam was in or whether they were complications I imploringly hoped didn't exist. All the time Bo stood right next to me and as I turned to her I was greeted with her brown eyes following me with the same concern they had before. As much as I would have loved it to stay here for a longer time I really had to leave. My daughter needed me right now.

"I´m sorry Bo, but I have to go. I will see you later. Okay?" I apologized, she however nodded understandingly and gave me a little smile that was supposed to psych me up and it did.

"Of course. I´ll find the way back to my room. Go and find out what´s with your daughter. I´m sure she will be fine." Bo said and after I had mouthed a silent thank you at her I ran out of the waiting room to check the current state of my little one.

The moment I was out of the room I saw someone coming from the surgery my daughter was in, at least she was there when I left her. I recognized that it was a woman and with the meters I overcome between us I saw that it was Felicity who took off her red cap to reveal her black long her and she found my eyes shortly after she had raised her head. My pace accelerate for the remaining distance that hindered me from hearing the news about her little patient and my daughter. I stopped directly in front of her, my body was shaking and I awaited the releasing or all destroying information which would come from my friends mouth. My hands were trembling so hard that I had to put them together to still their frantic movement and I looked into Felicity´s eyes that tried to keep a neutral expression just like she was trained for situations like these, but I could see that it affected her with the same amount as other people who knew and loved Sam.

So now I stood here with sweaty hands kneading them and the urge to know what happened behind the doors I wasn't allowed to cross.

"Please tell me Sam is okay?"

**.**

**next time you will find out whether little Sam is fine or not... but I think you know what I will do ;)**

**Leave a short or long text and I know what you think...**

**To be continued...**


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